I hope you get your confidence back soon.  Because of my MS I generally lack physical confidence, and I find that it really helps to ride short horses, preferably under 14.2! 

I have had  a lot of fear issues because my balance is soooooo bad and I am so weak.  My multiple sclerosis messed up my riding big time.  I usually refused to go out of the ring because I KNEW if there was a big spook I'd be off. 

I got the RS-tor riding aid, and now I do dare to go on a small trail ride.  They have a banner ad on the Barnmice home page just under the video section, in the middle column.  90% of the time I am riding now I have the RS-tor in my hand.  It in no way ties the rider to the saddle, it just gives you that extra help in times of trouble and you can use it to pull your seat back into the saddle.

I am also thinking about using a neck strap, this weekend Mia was spooky and I was holding onto her mane as well as the RS-tor.  Usually I feel so much more secure by just holding the RS-tor even when a horse starts communicating their displeasure with me.  Now I can ride some out of the ring, before the RS-tor I did not feel confident enough, and this is after over 40 years of riding, a lot of it on trails.

I used to dread those disagreements!  Now I just make sure the RS-tor is firmly in my hand, shrug my shoulders and deal with the horse.  Since I am more confident about staying in the saddle I am getting fewer disagreements all around.

Part of my blog, "Back in My Old Crosby Saddle Again" is about my ride on Mia, spooky in the fog, with me grabbing mane!  I was holding onto my RS-tor, but she was so tensed up I wanted a little more insurance.