REFLECTIONS - Part 3 - JOY

Last week I quoted the final lines of Robert Frost’s inspiring poem Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening….but it is worth reading in full:

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep.

DON’T FENCE ME IN

At the beginning of this century, as we entered the new millennium, people in both the USA and the UK were asked to name their favorite poem and Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening was the only poem in both lists. I think this demonstrates both the affinity so many of us feel with horses and the need we have for freedom….the freedom to ride off into the sunset. This is also echoed by these famous lines from Bing Crosby, which he sang first in 1945….it remains one of the biggest selling songs of all time:

Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies above,
Don't Fence Me In.
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t Fence Me In.
Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle…
Don’t Fence Me In.

Don’t fence me in, I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep….and if we can travel this journey joyfully we are winning all the way. They say that if you love what you are doing you will never have to work another day in your life, and of course love and enjoyment are closely connected. Certainly willingness and forwardness goes out of the door fairly quickly if your horse is not enjoying their work, and the same certainly applies to young riders. Of course there are a group of adult riders who are prepared to suffer a less than enjoyable time in their sport if they are getting fitter or helping others to participate. But generally speaking if they were achieving joyfully they would achieve so much more.

WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT

Joy is a priority. My Father used to tell a story that I think was about priorities:

“It was hay time in Cornwall and the top-heavy cart coming from the field had overturned in the steep, narrow lane. Its young driver looked at the fallen load in dismay. "Cum in fer a dish o' tay", said a motherly soul to the boy as he stood there."We'll give 'e a 'and gettin' it right after. You'll feel more like loadin' again after a drink and a sit down."
"Faather won't like it," said the boy doubtfully.
"Faather won't knaw nowt 'bout it," said the woman comfortingly and led the boy, still reluctant, into the house to join her family. Half an hour later, all emerged to view the situation, the lad thanking the lady but repeating that his father wouldn't like it at all.
"Rubbish," she said, "I'll deal with your faather. Where's 'e to?"
"Under the 'ay", said the boy.

Of course my Father’s sense of priorities was very different from most people today because he had gone through the 2nd World War, had killed men, had risked his life and lost a lung in France. While Bing Crosby was singing ‘Don’t Fence Me In’ he was often surrounded by wire and mud and dead colleagues.

When he came home, disabled and shocked, his was not an easy place to be, but horses and horse people were a great therapy. To have a joyful sporting day, with horses as both the medium and catalyst, was a day to treasure and a day to aim for again. I truly believe that horses help us all to do more with our lives….but the key to this is the type of relationship we have with our horses. If you have sensitivity and the desire to make a mental connection with a horse then the door to a positive therapeutic and inspirational effect is open, but if you treat a horse as a machine then the door is closed.

Sadly I find many high level performers, or more accurately many performers with high-level aspirations do treat their horses and their training mechanically and produce horses that are brain dead to some degree. Then when you talk to these riders you realise that the competition goal is their total focus and they miss out both on the journey and the lessons of the journey…they certainly miss out both on a special relationship with their horses and fulfilling their potential.

A MIGHTY SPIRIT

I have told you before about Joan Salmon, the blind Irish rider aiming for the 2012 Paralympic Games, who has just had a second kidney transplant. Joan has a special relationship with her horse Ollie. She gains strength from her riding, and by her positive attitude and determination marches well ahead of so many with better luck, opportunities and resources. She has a mighty spirit and a joyful spirit and is a great role model and inspiration for others. In my presentation The GO! Rules, which is about the need to have the right attitude of mind to make the most of a competitive life, I use Joan as one of my role models.

A TOTALLY FORWARD FOCUS

Joan is focussed on 2012…. don’t fence me in, I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep…. and knows that she can’t waste too much of today on yesterday…she doesn’t moan about her bad luck or the opportunities that have been taken from her, she just gets on with the job in a confident, joyful way.

FROM ORDINARY TO EXRAORDINARY

The single most powerful determinant of how much we accomplish in life is the level of confidence we have in our internal resources to take on a new challenge, and as a result of our actions succeed in it. This is because having this confidence is so self motivating. What’s more, we’ll be versatile and tenacious in the face of problems and setbacks, all because we believe in ourselves. So how can this confidence be developed?

We need to have a positive attitude and progress using small, bite size steps. Setting ourselves simple tasks can be relied upon to give us a taste of success. When we witness ourselves succeed, our confidence takes a turn for the better and little by little this enables us to reach our goals. So the use of a positive attitude and small action steps reinforce each other and form a powerful partnership. This small action steps strategy may not seem like rocket science, but just think what we often do instead: Right from the start we either decide we don’t have sufficient talent or intelligence, and stay firmly on the couch; or we bite off more than we can chew, drafting overlong to-do lists without a plan, and the result is invariably failure.

However using readily achievable action steps does not mean being without ambition or being aimless. The secret is to first set your long term aims and plan backwards. Then execute these bite-size steps directed specifically towards achieving your medium term goals. This stacks the odds in your favour and produces the opposite of a vicious circle. Being confident that we have the internal resources and method to take on a new challenge, we accomplish more and aim higher.

As Nelson Mandela said, “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” We need to aim for excellence. . This ‘can do’ spirit also protects us from the paralysing and thus self-defeating pessimism that is all too characteristic of anxiety and depression.

DON’T FENCE ME IN

Horses are also a great catalyst for overcoming a negative attitude so riders have an added advantage. The bottom line is that horses have been an integral part of our journey for thousands of years. We need to treasure this history and treasure our relationship with them…as in these words from probably the greatest equestrian poem of all time, Nobility, by Ronald Duncan:

The horses story is the story of this land …..

Where in this wide world can man find,
nobility without pride,
Friendship without envy,
beauty without vanity?

Here.....where grace is laced by muscle, and strength by gentleness confined.
He serves without servility, he has fought without enmity;
There is nothing so powerful, nothing less violent;
Nothing so quick, nothing more patient.
All our past has been borne on his back,
All our history is his industry;
We are his heirs, he our inheritance.

Ladies and Gentlemen - The Horse!

A HUGE THANK YOU

A huge thank you for following my blogs in such numbers over the past year and for all your thought provoking and intelligent responses. Due to other commitments I will be mixing my future blogs with some of my best blogs from the past. In the meantime do stay in touch and very happy days to you all. William

www.WilliamMicklem.com