-You cluck to your car when you go up a hill.
-Your horse's hair is in better condition than your own.
-You refer to your car as "my portable tack room".
-You are exited when your friend tells you that there is a huge sale at the bridle shop, then you are dissapointed when you realize they mean the bridal shop.
-You have the vet's number but not your kid's pediatrician on your speed dial.
-Your spouse can track dirt into the house all they want, but so help them if they muddy up the tack room.
-Your house is a mess, but the barn is as neat as a pin.
-Your nice clothes are the ones without horse hair all over them.
How do you......
induce labor in a mare? Take a nap.
cure equine constipation? Load them in a clean trailer.
cure equine insomnia? Take them in a halter class.
get a horse to wash their own feet? Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
get a mare to come in heat? Take her to a show.
get a mare in foal the first cover? Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall.
make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted? Sell her before she foals.
get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch? Get him out late at night or anytime no one is a round to see him.
induce a cold snap in the weather? Clip a horse.
make it rain? Mow a field of hay.
make a small fortune in the horse business? Start with a large one.
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