Santa takes the World Champion horse show
(C) by Roberta Edstrom
In the moonlight on this perfect Christmas morn
But a step in the frozen snow should I take,
when to ears I hear my horse morning nickers
Still dark so the outline of the barn I can hardly make
I know my eyes weren't deceive'n
I notice the barn door slightly a jar
Who and the heck, whos been so stupid
....................My horses just must be a freezin'
I gabbed the barn door
still as mad as a thorny old thistle
There in the moonlight of the upcoming day
What the heck, what is this I see?
For Christmas, did my wife buy me a fancy new sleigh?
When out of nowhere, something I did hear
Wait a minute, low sounds come to my ear
To my horses a man was softly a talkin'
Was that the horns of a reindeer?
The stallion, his ears forward and being so alert
Looked just like he know what the old man had to say
As I grabbed for a pitch fork, "Hey, you there"
"You better get away from my big dark Bay"
Tressspassin'? Deadly offense
"What the hell do you think you're a doin'?"
"Who gave you permission?"
Stop right there, mister, you better not be a movin'
Just who might you be anyway?
A red suit, don't Santa you make
"Did you bring that animal here just to eat,
.................................while we're all in the house mostly asleep?"
That weird looking animal eatin' all my darn hay
By gosh, even Santa would know it cost half my pay
you better darn well replace it
...............on here, this Christmas day!
Quick could be, he turned around and looked right at me
Even half asleep, I knew him right away
It surely looked like Santa
can you believe this, him!......Santa makin' off with my hay!
He looked me right in the eye
and in a loud voice, "I ain't stealin that hay!"
Louder he told "Listen up here young Cowboy"!
I really got to borrow that big dark bay
My reindeer, Rudy, ya know
He complainin', says it's just too harsh n'cold
to fly anymore in this year's heaviest snow
And now, that damn old fool, well, he just refuses to go
I got presents to deliver, moments are passin'!
Children sent thousands of letters
Make it clear now Cowboy, I have to get goin'
I ain't standing here listen to your mouth me a' trashin"
That stud of yours,
Man, he looks to be mighty fine
If we sprinkle him with some flying dust
Then we could hock him to that sled of mine!
I though to myself
This old man has to be half nuts
If he only knew, I still walk with a limp
When that old stud kicked my leg as he aimed for me butt!
My shoulder sure been a hurtin'
since he me toppled me over just to get in
He bits me nearly every damn day
As I givin him a flake of .......expensive alfalfa hay
He has stomped on my foot
I've been told the farrier won't ever come back
If it wasn't for his champion filly's
I would never cut that bay any slack
It takes me near an hour
to get him all saddled and tacked
And then it's a darn fight
till the moment we get back
Like most of us men
He's got no concentration
Snortin and Buckin all the darn time
Just tryin to get any filly's attention
Well now, I got me a lot of other fine quality colts
So I started to wonder if this old man
what kind of trade for that dark old bay
Don't think I would much miss that stubborn old goat
Ready to deal, I stared down that old Santa
and asked "So just what are you thinkin?"
By the way, What good is a reindeer
"Does that red nose ever stop blinkin'?
My old stud, I said" A class act, a world champion stallion
For Santa wouldn't look at anything less
Seemed pretty strange, even bugged me a little
For that old stallion was really quite a pitiful mess
I giggled as he threw in elves toppin' off the bargin
One year of no chores for me and the wife
A little cash n' he'd leave me all those Christmas presents
I thought I just made the greatest deal of my life
Well, will you just look at that darn horse of mine
Santa was quite the horseman
With a whisper and a wink of an eye,
that dark bay harnessed in no time!
In his bright red suit, he tossed up magical dust,
just like that, all four feet started flyin
That old man, smartly cracked that long whip
Oh my God, could this truly be the real St. Nick
Rudy and me just stood there stupidly lookin'
Wow, my old stallion flying and pulling that sleigh
I was a proud as could be,
That old dark bay was finally good fo somethin'
I remember it so, as being such a great Christmas
The elves, all my barn chores now their a doin'
For me, can you imagine,
For a year, no poop would I be a movin'
My cowgirl she too is mighty happy too
For ever since last Christmas
Not much has either one of us been doin'
but together, we here in the house sittin' just a chillin'
Months passed, summer came and gone
Fall 's around the corner, but what I want, real real bad
Takin' a horse to that world championship show
Ain't taken that reindeer even if he is all that I had
For now, Rudy, reindeer, all I have to ride
and By God, make note, he is so damn slow
most of the time, he just refuses to go
and be fully aware, reindeer ain't got no power sterrin'
Lately, I been gettin' kind of lazy and fat
Mornin' paper, every day I now get to see
While the elves do all my ranchin' for me
Wait one darn minute, This truly can't be
What to my wonderin' eyes do I see
Blue ribbion on haning side of a red truck on a stick
Please, don't tell me after just one year,
this surly really can't be my old bay and Mr. St Nick
There in the headlines, the story be told
"Tired reindeer my AS_! " How could this be
A reindeer, cheap gifts, elves, my priceless stud had been sold
How Santa just made a complete fool out of me
That red suited old man,
On my favorite old stud did he ride
Wouldn't you know
They completely won the entire
...........................................World Championship show!!
What else can I say, but
.......................................................................................GO, SANTA , GO
(C) by Roberta Edstrom