Craigslist is really making our job  easy…  We happened across this first ad a few days ago and just couldn’t stop ourselves from commenting.  And commenting not just on the horses themselves, but on the pricing.  Yes, all the horses below are from the same area within the same state and within a few hundred dollars of a $6000 price tag.  No, we’re not sure why either.

Must see 7 year old, well trained, registered Quarter Horse Mare, AQHA Pacific Red Cloud. Excellent bloodlines, good mind, easily trained, easy keeper, not ‘mareish’, no vices, safe, sane, and perfect conformation at 16.1 HH. She is trained in English and western and has done a little jumping, she can do it all! We do natural horsemanship with her and she responds fabulously. She has wonderful ground manners, comes when you call her, clips, bathes, trailers, good for farrier and vet and gets along well with other horses, great around traffic, dogs, ATV’s, etc. Does well on trails either alone or in company, not spooky at all, stands to be mounted, and moves off on command. We have very young children and not enough time to ride her as much as we would like and she deserves. To approved home only. If interested please call — — —-

We’re not quite sure they understand what “perfect conformation” is…  We’re also not sure they know what proper muscling is or conditioning – or what a healthy horse looks like, for that matter.  That neck is the epitome of scrawny!  Now, it may be that the photo was taken at an odd moment, but a horse standing like this one is in the right-side picture, usually indicates some type of leg pain.  Would you pay +/-$6000 for the (admittedly dubious) honor of paying potentially more to a vet?

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Great personality. He goes well English, Western, Dressage & has started jumping. He’s been used as a lesson horse for the past 2 years.   Wonderful on the trail, he will go wherever you want. His gaits are smooth & he is easily collected. I feel his potential is being wasted as a lesson horse.  He swims, rides in traffic, lunges, drives, bathes, clips, stands for the farrier and vets without issue. He loves to attend shows, clinics and games days. Solid horses for beginners are hard to find and he is still fun for advanced riders as well! Approved home only. Current Negative Coggins and he has had spring shots and teeth floated. Just ask, I have tons of pics and 4 videos!

I’m so glad they have “tons of pics and 4 videos!” but can you tell me how old this horse is?!  I don’t know about you but if a horse is a great lesson horse, like the one described above, usually they try to hang on to these horses and don’t sell because “his potential is being wasted”.

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Good horse. Trotter. Call Dude* ###-####

At first this was the only ad text we could find.  Very succinct!

Shining Mountian Diamond Mist: 12 year old Chestnut Mare registerd Missouri Foxtrotter #99-#####. Best horse I ever had, goes any where and guards the rider. No spook no kick no buck. Prefers Women but has excepted me, as most of her riders were female. Exellent horse must sell my new Job takes me out of town and away from MIST.

Found the ad a second time, this time it actually had, ummm, words.  And thus gave us more fodder for mockery.  How does a horse guard its rider?  If you fall and a coyote tries to attack will the horse bare its teeth and scare the thing away?  Will it protect the rider from a band of unruly men in tights who steal from the rich to feed the poor? (Good gawd I hope so, that last one is the stuff of nightmares!)

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*Name changed to protect seller’s identity from said unruly band of men in tights