One of the trainers I rode with always said that being a good rider is 90% confidence. I'm sure that training, talent, and dedication comes into play also. Yet, I believe that confidence is the most important due to the fact that the other three attributes can be masked by a lack of it. A rider can't completely relax and focus if they are self-conscious and/or scared.

I still struggle with my confidence every time I ride. In fact, it gets worse as I get older. It's not even necessarily that I'm scared of falling off or getting hurt. Honestly, I'm not really sure why. For some reason I am just not as comfortable in the saddle as I used to be.
Definitely not perfect....

In my own struggles, I've found things to focus on that seem to help me remember that I don't completely suck. So here they are and maybe they can help anyone else out there with the same problem.


Don't compare yourself to other riders

Watching a rider and horse that look "perfect" makes it easy to tear your own skills apart. There are too many factors in riding to compare yourself to someone else. Instead of focusing on how much better you think a person might be, try to learn from them. Pay attention to what is creating that "perfect" look. Aspire to ride like them, but don't get down on yourself because you aren't at the same level yet.


Find the right trainer

A trainer can make a huge difference in how you view yourself as a rider. Make sure you are comfortable with them. Keep in mind that their job is to make you better, not to say what you want to hear. They are going to push and correct you. Mistakes have to be pointed out to be fixed. Constructive criticism along with the acknowledgement of improvement should be expected. If you come away from a lesson feeling like one of those areas is lacking, then it's probably time to find a new trainer.


Make sure your saddle fits you and your horse correctly

There is nothing worse than fighting your position due to an unbalanced, ill-fit saddle. It is nearly impossible to sit and ride correctly. You need to be physically comfortable to be confident, as does your horse. Investing money into having a well-fit saddle is well worth it.


Remember how hard you've worked

You have probably worked your butt off to get where you are, be proud of yourself! Riding isn't always an easy sport to stick with. Don't forget how far you've already come.


Be happy with the smallest of improvements

No one gets good overnight. Make sure you pay attention to even the slightest of improvements and reward your horse and yourself. These small steps are building the foundation of your training and they all add up eventually.


Make realistic goals
When it comes to horses, things rarely go as planned. It's fine to have an ultimate goal, but set small ones to help you get to that point. Don't put yourself on a fixed time schedule as it increases the feeling of failure if you don't meet it. Have a general idea of where you want to be at what point in the future, but be flexible.


Enjoy the ride and be grateful

Have fun! You don't have to be perfect and neither does your horse. Get out of the arena sometimes. Go for a trail ride, take off on a gallop, or do anything else that reminds you why you wanted to ride in the first place.

Most of all, never forget how fortunate you are to be able to do what you love.

If anyone else has tips on this subject, I would love to hear them!

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Comment by Jackie Cochran on December 11, 2013 at 4:10pm

I was in a head-on collision with a drunk driver almost 30 years ago, and while my neck injuries were no where as bad as yours my neck still bothers me and I often wake up with spasming neck muscles.

I ordered a Back on Track neck "dickey".  I use a neck collar frequently and while it can help with the pain some, my neck muscles never quit looking for an excuse to spasm.  I need something more!  I'll try to remember to tell you if it improves matters for me.  I understand that it takes time to work (gradual improvement?), so if I forget to tell you I'll probably write about it in my blogs here on Barnmice. 

The Back on Track people also have a back brace but this stuff if expensive so it will be a long while before I can afford it.  Luckily for me my back finally stopped hurting all the time I rode after 4 horrible years of mostly not riding, so I do not need a back brace as bad as I need the neck brace.  The thing I found that helped the most with my back the most was a few years of crawling around my horses' grazing paddock, hand weeding it.  I would do this an hour or two a day.  When I re-started riding my lower back no longer bothered me while riding, though it does flare up occassionally if I carry something wrong. 

The last time my lower back flared up I reclined on a horse Back on Track saddle pad and the pain went away and did not come back as bad the next time I triggered it.  The horse I got the pad for has a bad back and he is showing some signs of loosening up with just two 30 minute rides.  This is why I ordered the neck brace for myself.  Warning, I've read that it is better to start using the Back on Track stuff gradually so the injured muscles can get used to the increased blood flow.

With a bad neck I would avoid all sitting trot.   

I know our injuries are different, but I hope some of this gives you ideas!  You are right, our pain can affect our riding and our confidence in the saddle.  Soft tissue injuries can be a true bitch!          

Comment by Jodi Perkins on December 11, 2013 at 3:01pm
Wow! You are such an inspiration! Thank you for telling me your story!I injured my neck a few years ago and have had trouble with my confidence since then. I didn't even fall off, the horse just spooked and sucked back so hard that I ypre the ligaments in my neck and my spine slid out so far that they originally thought I dislocated it. Fortunately I didn't, but I've it still hurts constantly. My riding hasn't been as good since then and I can't seem to get past it. I've had some pretty good falls over the years and they never bothered me. For some reason when I hurt my neck, it did. Thank you again for your comment and good luck with your riding!
Comment by Jackie Cochran on December 11, 2013 at 2:28pm

I have Multiple Sclerosis.  I had it most of my life, just undiagnosed for the first 23 years of my riding life.

When I got back to being able to ride after I was finally diagnosed I faced a great lack of confidence!  The first thing I did was to go over in my mind all the different riding styles to figure out what would be the most secure for me.  I picked the pure Forward Seat even though I can't canter much and I certainly can't jump (the Forward Seat was developed for jumping and riding cross-country at a gallop.)  I figured that this riding style would do more to increase my stability in the saddle than any other.

Then I finally lucked out with a riding teacher.  I found a barn with a hunt seat instructor that does mostly kids, explained my situation, why I needed to do a good Forward Seat, and she put me on a great horse (one most definitely not suitable for beginners) and has patiently been correcting my position for the past 6 years.  Debbie is just wonderful, and I finally have a secure seat that works quite well (as in the horses do not mind me riding them in spite of my disabilities.)  I started riding seriously over 40 years ago, and Debbie is the first teacher I've found that is willing to work with me even if she is still yelling at me about something in my seat for the umpteenth time.

I also got myself a RS-tor, a gadget I can hold in my hand that is attached to the stirrup bars.  When I've got it in my hand I can relax a little bit more because it will help me not fall off the horse and if I do fall it will help me land on my feet.  When my seat becomes unsettled I can pull myself back into proper position with the RS-tor.  The RS-tor has greatly increased my confidence in the saddle.

Finally, I LISTEN TO THE HORSE.  Many resistances and "bad behaviors" are caused because the horse is uncomfortable.  Each horse can have multiple pains.  I try to address each one as the horse brings it up.  The horses are more comfortable with me because they know I will listen to their concerns and they relax when I finally figure out how to make them feel better.  A lot of guessing is involved, it isn't always cheap, but the more comfortable the horse is the more willing it is to forgive me my many riding faults.

Because I ride horses I am still able to walk.  I have just learned to ignore my fear of riding because I am much more afraid of being unable to walk on my own two feet.  The horses don't seem to mind how afraid I am so long as I don't hurt them and so long as I don't scream.

Horses are amazingly forgiving creatures.   

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