Ok, Ok, I know those of you back east have snow and all, and up in the Pacific northwest, rain is common - but here in So Cal, and especially here in the Mojave desert - we don't often get days and days of rain. We get days and days of WIND. Not wet stuff.

But it is here now. We really Need the rain and all that stuff - and i have spent a week trying to get prepared - adding dirt in low spots, digging a few preparatory trenches. But Oh lordy - this is a lot of water and the Big storm isn't supposed to hit until Tomorrow???

Now in years far past, we would get rain, and I eventually learned to dig a Long ditch across the top of the dressage court and out into the desert. Then the water doesn't get dammed up on the ranch. Before I learned this, we had a few 'interesting' floods. Like the jump ring filled with water so much that the jump poles were floating around! Seriously, a couple kids brought toy boats and sailed them on 'Lake Sweetwater'. So, we kept the ditches going out into the desert and it never happened again.

But it hasn't rained seriously here for 5 years. I am not exaggerating. And all the ditches have slowly filled in with sand - you know - blowing sand and dust due to the Wind we get when everyone else gets rain! Well, when the catch basin to the north of the barn starts looking full, I need to get it to drain north. That means reopening that Long ditch - we are talking 100 feet. To get to the fence. Then I have to dig out the built up dirt on the fence to get the water to go Out into the desert - and the build up is about 3 feet tall, but I have done it before.

I started out this morning with head high and good intentions. I even took the wheelbarrow and used the dirt from the ditch to fill some low spots in corrals. I am feeling pretty proud of myself - a great two-fer and I figure I got this rainstorm licked. I spade out a shovel full of dirt and the water rushes in the void. Very satisfying. I have been playing 'hydro engineer' since I was a kid. Of course, digging was much easier when I was a kid and had a younger back. In fact, my back has very strong opinions about digging - it is as opposed to the activity as a cat is opposed to getting wet. As I continue to dig, I realize that the ground is now a lovely mix of dirt and pine needles. Very hard to get a shovel through. I take a break, visit the UDBB, let my chair massager loosen up muscles that are screaming in 5 different languages, a couple of which I didn't even know I knew. Now DH sees how I am struggling, but does he offer to help? No, he just says he is sorry that he doesn't have an implement on the tractor that could dig the ditch for me! I am guessing he is looking for an excuse to buy another piece of equipment. And with that, he is off to work, and I slog back out, head not quite so high. it is starting to drizzle a bit, but I am determined. I am also wearing out. My good intentions have indeed paved a road to hell - and I still have 50 feet to go.

Digging ditches is a bit like stall cleaning, it doesn't require much mental activity, so the mind is free to wander. Mine wanders over to the tractor. 21 horse power little thing, but I decide maybe I can use the front bucket to scoop out the dirt, it won't make a perfect trench, but it should do the majority of the work, and I can clean up with the shovel. So, I fire the little guy up, and putt putt my way out over a few significant ponds and into the dressage court. Which is very muddy, and I think I might regret tearing up my footing a bit, but well, if it is under 6 inches of water, it won't be of any use to anyone anyway, so I will deal with the consequences later. And I start scooping along. And it works Great! I think I am a genius. Until for whatever reason, I get into a slick spot and the tractor can't back out. I rock it. I get out, I dig under the tires, I rock it some more, and YEAH me! I get it free. Now, I am thinking this is a freak occurrence, and I will just be a little more careful, and so I roll back, shift over another 6 feet and plow forward to scoop out another section. And I get stuck again. I rock, I rev, I swear – using some of those new cuss words I learned from my back earlier! Nope, it is not coming free. OK, wait a minute, now I am digging under the tractor that was supposed to get me out of digging??? Fine – I will get the truck and a chain and pull the tractor out.

I think a bit about this – the ring is getting wetter by the minute and under that 3 inches of sand is the slickest clay base you can ever imagine. I mean cow snot gives more traction. The clay base is Great when it is dry, but wet, it is an ice skating ring without the zambonee. But the tractor is stuck, it is raining, there isn’t anyone else around, and I don’t really want to leave the tractor out in the weather, and it is going to get wetter before it gets dryer, so if I don’t get it out now, it is going to sit there for a week.

So, come on Dodge truck, and truckers chain, and let’s go save the Mitsubishi. I drive into the court apologizing to every dressage god around for the sacriledge of tearing up my footing. I skid around the corner, but manage to get out of the quickly forming lake to have the best chance of traction. I drive it back and forth just once as a test. Yep, the tires are not spinning. So, I hook on the chain, get in the truck, say a couple little prayers, and hit it. And with a couple jerks, the tractor is free. And happily it doesn’t roll into the truck, and the truck isn’t stuck and the footing, well, it’s nothing that can’t be repaired with a drag. Undo the chain, throw it into the bed of the truck – no small feat either, it is a 30 foot chain of significant weight. At this point, I have just stopped speaking to my back, it didn’t have anything nice to say anyway. So, I switch on the ‘ignore’ mode, knowing I will pay dearly for that later. It is like a vengeful mother in law, you can only tune it out for so long and then you will have to find a way to make amends if you want to go on living, but sometimes in the short run, it is better to just bulldoze on.

So, Now I take the truck out – I opt for the long straight route, leaving a pair of deep tire tracks the entire length from M to F and out at A. But the truck is out, and I didn’t have to face DH with TWO stuck vehicles in the dressage court in the rain! Tractor fires back up and happily putt putt’s its way back to its little shed.

So, after a couple hours work, I have a ditch that runs ¾’s of the way to where I need it, I have an undamaged tractor, a very muddy truck, tire tracks running here and there in my dressage court and a back that is mastering swearing in polish. On the upside, the tire tracks from M to F are working like channels to direct the water out of the court, so that isn’t a completely bad thing. I went back out after feeding and tried valienty to finish the ditch, but with fading light, I accepted that I wasn’t going to get it done tonight anyway, so I abandoned the task. Tomorrow, if the Huge storm gives me a couple hours in the morning, I will take the tractor over and tackle the sand built up on the fence and maybe I will get the actual drainage going. The storm that hit today – and it really stormed after I quit digging, has created standing water than runs from the dressage court to the front gate – a distance of about 450 feet. I did get one ditch dug under the side fence to drain off what is draining out of the court. We will see what things look like by dawn’s early light.

For now, I am back on the massager chair, and just glad to be in out of the storm. I swear I don’t ever want to dig this ditch again. I might even Let DH get that spade tool, or whatever he is dreaming of!!! If he has a tool, he might do the chore for me. And if I had done it BEFORE the ground got so wet, the tractor would not have gotten stuck. Oh well, 20/20 hindsight and all that. Tomorrow I will walk like a hybrid between a Neanderthal and Quasimoto. DH will act sympathetic, but I know he is going to laugh behind my back as I wobble around tomorrow morning.

Getting old sucks. Bad backs suck more. But tomorrow, I swear, I will Beat this rain thing – I will get that ditch dug and the water draining. There is nothing so satisfying as standing propped against a shovel handle as you watch water flow smoothly down a ditch you have dug, and out into the desert. You watch the paddocks lose their puddles and the arena sand slowly emerges from the standing water. Noah couldn’t be happier than I am when my hydro engineering works and I beat the flooding of Sweetwater. But tonight – it is Rain 1 – Monica – 0. I guess tomorrow, I had better hum the theme from Rocky!!! mw