I have been blogging along for a couple of years now and I notice that no one is asking me for beauty tips. I wonder why that is?

It couldn’t be that I offended with last week’s rant about non-helmet wearing riders who have more concern about their hair than their brains.

It can’t be a grudge about the blog where I referred to my truck as The Perfect Purse, that was just common sense.

I admit I don’t dye my hair anymore. When I first moved to the farm, I would put the peroxide/dye on my hair and while waiting for rinse time, wander out to the barn to feed. Then I might tidy up the feed room or maybe fix some fence. Or just talk politics with the goats.

AWK! I lost time- and the peroxide on my hair was way over-done, dry and crunchy. I  raced to the shower, knowing that the water would rinse every hair off my head and leave a shiny, naked skull. But no, I did it several times, and amazingly my hair was still attached. Eventually even that got boring and I quit the whole dye process.

It can’t be my fashion sense. This year I got new Carhartts-  actual women’s Carhartts that are a stylish dirty lavender color with elastic in the back waist. Still, I confess I like the fit of my old men’s Carhartts better. Sometimes I glance in the mirror while pulling them on and think they make me look tall and thin. I realize this is an unrealistic fashion perception. I also realize that the word unrealistic is an understatement.

Last month I was all set for a couple of spa days- complete with massage and hot soaks. Plans changed when my grandfather horse got sick and we had a costly midnight vet visit. I still took a couple of days, but not at the spa. I gave myself a facial- my skin can start to look a little like an old hay tarp from time to time. I used Miracle Clay. The product really is a miracle ingested for equine ulcers and colic. (This clearly isn’t a paid endorsement.) The package label says it’s also a poultice, so I mixed some up with milk, lemon and honey and slathered it on my face. There was a big improvement, no kidding! Now I look like a slightly younger 57 year old woman who is out in the sun and wind every day.

It’s New Year’s resolution time and beauty tips abound. And again, not that you asked, but here is my one real beauty tip and it works for everybody: Stand next to a horse you like, and smile.

After all, it is all about accessorizing, isn’t it?

(P.S. At all costs, resist squealing in a high-pitched, girly voice, “Look, he matches my hair!”)

What’s your best irrational barn beauty tip?? I dare you…

Anna, Infinity Farm.