Love, kidney failure and a broken heart

-Dedicated to Spook and my determined riding career that will lead me
to the Olympics

After eleven years of life and a year of living with kidney failure,
Spook passed away.

Our paths first crossed on a frigid cold day. He was two and I was
only twelve years old. Who knew that the next decade together would
change my life forever; all because of this young white and chestnut
painted foal with a blue and brown eye. I remember when he looked at
me for the very first time, with that blue eye; it was as though he
starred straight into to my soul.

Spook and I had this unbelievable bond that was so pure and had so
much trust instilled into one another that it made us an exceptional
riding duo. This union would only grow stronger as we grew up
together, learnt together and changed together. He was my way escape when my family was dealing with custody battles, while I
going through difficult times at school and when I was going through my best days and my worst days. Training Spook was a way for me to release anything negative in my life and put it somewhere positive. He taught me
lessons that will stay with me for life.

Spook was the best teacher that any young, green rider could ask for.
He had attitude, spunk, and was very stubborn but very trust worthy.
If I didn't ask him with a correct aid, he wouldn't do it at all.
There were many days that I was very frustrated. In the end he taught
me more than how to do correct aids; he taught me patience,
persistence, showed me that hard work and dedication always pays off
over time, and most importantly he taught me to never give up. Spook
would do anything I asked; we competed in show jumping, dressage, and
rode in the Calgary Stampede Showriders together. The most prized time
we spent together was just throwing a halter or bridal on and heading
out to the field and opening him up. We spent countless hours in the
snow, heat, rain and sleet, dusk, noon and dawn with just him and me
and the wind at our back.

Spook was a miracle horse; he was so stubborn that he wouldn't let any
illnesses take his life. He survived many close calls. We almost lost
him the first time to colic when he was only five. He was rushed to
the veterinary emergency where we had to decide between the expensive Colic surgery and no guarantees of him surviving or
letting his body work it self out. Well stubborn Spook didn't let
Colic get him and he survived. When he was in emergency they found
kidney stones. He battled the Colic and had to endure the slow,
painful process of removing the kidney stones by urinating them out.
We almost lost him the second time to kidney failure when he was ten
years old. We were told by the vets that he had no chance to survive
and to just put him down. Kidney failure is very rare in horses and
there is little they can do to prolong his life once diagnosed. Spooks
stubborn disposition allowed him to battle through kidney failure for
over a year. He held up the battle until he didn't have anything left
in him to battle and it took his life on September 24, 2011.

One could say I trained him to do all the things he did, but I believe
he trained me. The last year of his life was very difficult on the
both of us. He was struggling everyday from fighting the endless
battle of kidney failure. I was struggling emotionally knowing Spook
was slowly passing away every day, my father had just been diagnosed with
cancer, and I was needing to complete my  business diploma. I
needed to finish my diploma, and take care of my father, Spook and be
an emotional support for my younger brother. It was essential for me
to stay positive and supportive for the people and horse in my life
that needed me. Spook taught me to never give up, so I stayed strong
and did just that. I would go straight to the hospital from school and
study there while I spent time with my Father. After spending hours at
the hospital I would go straight home to see Spook. It was imperative
for Spook to keep him riding. If I were to neglect him and place him
into retirement it would only lead him to be miserable and therefore
more ill. He is happiest when he is ridden so the vets recommended
that I take it easy with Spook when we did ride. It was my job to keep
him as happy as possible during the last months of his life. I decided
to take on a challenge and train Spook to listen to all aids, in all
gaits, with no saddle or bridle.

Nearing the last two months of his life he taught me to be the best
rider with what he had left in him. In five days he taught me to train
him to listen to all aids in a walk, trot and canter
with no bridle, saddle or hands. It was solely Spook and I and nothing
else but our trust in one another.  We started training in the arena
and made our way to the open field doing this free riding style. My
goal was to get us over some jumps with no assists but his Kidney
Failure took over. Eventually we stopped riding completely due to the
fact riding was too demanding on his body. Shortly after we stopped
riding he was taken from me, and our path together ended on a
sweltering hot day.

Spook was a miracle for a horse to have battled this disease for as
long as he did. If I were to take any lesson I learnt from Spook it
would be to never give up. The lesson that Spook taught me of not
giving up has pushed me even further to find a way to accomplish my
dream of riding and competing in the Olympics in Dressage.

Riding came solely from my mother’s side. With her being a single mom
with three children, it made it difficult to support this passion
financially. She did the best she could to support Spook and
I but this sport is very expensive and so is having three children.
When times were tough financially it was up to Spook and I to take
what we had learnt from the lessons and shows we were fortunate enough
to take part in and grow on our own from there.

I have big dreams of competing in the Olympics and to me dreams are an
idea and an initiative that is meant to be accomplished. I have the
drive, passion and love for this sport to work through the blood,
sweat and tears of accomplishing my dream.  With being only 22 years
old and fresh out of business school, it makes it difficult to support
the riding career that I know I am capable of.  I have fallen off and
it is essential for me to get back in the saddle where I belong. I
need to allow everything Spook has taught me to go into the riding
career where he and I left off at. Riding, my love and passion is
sadly one of the most expensive sports I could be a part of and
without support, it is deemed very difficult to pursue. I just need a
little help to get to the Olympics. I know this is something I need to
do for myself, and in memory of spook.

I didn't ever give up on spook and it allowed me to appreciate every
last moment we had together and it changed me forever as a rider and a
person. I didn't give up on my father and I was able to appreciate how
important family really is. I didn't give up on finishing my business
diploma and I finished with a GPA of 4.0 in the last classes I needed
to complete my diploma. Now I may be facing a slight hurdle of seeking
a way to financially support my training to get into the Olympics but
Spook taught me to never give up, so that is exactly what I'm going to
do.

Written by Tiffany Pollock, in memory of Spook.