The Sainted Mare Weighs In On The Hair Issue...

We had a teensy tiny winter weather event here in New Jersey yesterday, which meant that the roads were fouled up for my early morning riding lesson and cleared up by the time my daughter needed to leave for the afternoon soccer game. Sigh. So, the girls had the day off and plenty of time on their hands, as evidenced by this communication from Sugar, which I found in my tack trunk:

Dear Mom,

I'd like to begin a dialogue with you on this whole hair obsession you have.  Or rather, this need of yours to make sure I have none. 

Let me make sure this is clear to you: I grow a long coat in order to stay warm.  You may have noticed that temperatures have been hovering in the teens recently?  When you use the buzzy thing to remove all my hair, I am no longer warm.  It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to render me naked, and then apply layer upon layer of claustrophobia-inducing artificial warmth and the irksome strappy things that hold them on.  You might think I look like the cute kid from A Christmas Story, whomever that may be, but I think I look uncomfortable and  annoyed.

You and your kind are supposed to be the life form capable of higher reasoning.  Based on the behavior mentioned above, I'd have to question if you are really using this ability.

What's wrong with the Po-Po Fro?

And what's with this sadistic need to yank my mane out by the roots?? Really, the absolute HEIGHT of rudeness! Who arbitrarily decided that manes had to be a certain length or thickness in order to be in fashion? And I have no idea what a bikini line is, nor what it has to do with Brazilians or wax, but I don't think it's relevant to equines and anyway, if it's so painful, why do you DO it?  This makes no sense.

Mom, I love you, but I respectfully suggest you are not fully making use of this supposedly superior human brainpower you have.

PS.  The pony agrees with me.

Love,

Sugar
aka The Sainted Mare

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Comment by Jackie Cochran on January 22, 2012 at 5:43pm

Yeah, you are listening to your horse!  Good for you!!!!

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