From essentialequestrian.wordpress.com:

I hope you read this title, made a guffaw, and said, “What?! No ride is ever a bust!”

And, honestly, I agree with you. No ride is ever a bust, and it is the difficult ones that often teach us the most. This doesn’t change the fact that it is tough to cope mentally in these situations.

The way to handle a tough ride varies depending on the situation: riding alone; being coached; and at a show.

When riding alone, it is important to continuously evaluate the ride, your mental state, and the horse’s mental state. Oftentimes, you know the moment you mount what type of horse you have that day, and you may have to toss your plans out the window for the moment (or the entire session) to work with the horse you have.

For example, recently I had planned to work on canter/walk transitions with my gelding. When I got on, however, I quickly learned that I would need a significant warm-up to have a horse ready to focus enough for what I wanted to work on. As the ride progressed, I decided to scrap the canter/walk transitions and instead throw in lots of circles, serpentines, and walk/trot transitions to get him listening. Things were starting to move in the right direction when an unrelated thought popped into my head that made me anxious. Well THAT certainly didn’t do any good. The next thing I knew Newton was not going forward, spooking at the door, and skidding through our 10 meter circles. Could I blame him? I mentally “shook it off” and decided, at this point in the ride, success would be walking calmly in both directions all the way around the arena and standing quietly by the door. After that, I called it a day. If I wasn’t mentally in the game, I couldn’t expect him to be.

When riding with a coach or trainer, you have the opportunity to regroup and bounce what you’re feeling off of your eyes on the ground to help evaluate what is going on. Mental challenges like I’ve just described are the most difficult to surmount because they are self-perpetuating, and it takes a great deal of practice and control to go from an anxious or elevated state to a state of “relaxed awareness” (Wendy Jago, Solo Schooling) which is where we all should reside. Until this can be accomplished on-horse, it can be a good idea to have the coach ride while you refocus, and, from there, give it another go. 

In the instances where it is not mental, but rather not getting the aids coordinated or a similar issue, I typically switch exercises and come back to the trouble spot later in the ride. In my experience, however, 99 percent of the time it comes back to a rider’s mental state. What starts as not getting the aids, or the horse running through the half halt, escalates into the rider trying too hard, which manifests as tightness, which causes the horse to hollow out and rush, which causes the rider to get nervous or frustrated, and on and on and on…

Finally, there is the place where everyone has been – a tough ride at a show. In this instance, it is more the way you deal with the situation after the ride that will separate the “men from the boys,” as it were. Much of this comes down to sportsmanship, but it is extremely difficult to deal with a major let-down in a composed manner when emotions and expectations are running high. And, trust me, I speak from experience! (Think warm-up of your life at Regionals, followed by a withdrawal from the class.)

So, first things first. You are in a class and something goes wrong. Ideally, it is a one-time bobble and you can move on from there. This goes back to the exercise of moving from an anxious state to a relaxed state. In this instance, it has to happen in a moment. Easier said than done, I know, but it can make the difference between a great ride with one bobble and a rough experience. Again, I can’t stress enough that practice really makes the difference here. Deep, abdominal breathing works wonders, as does circular breathing (breathe in for 4 seconds, out for 4 seconds, etc.) Focusing in on what your body and your horse’s body feel like (even in the contact? stepping underneath himself? falling in or out? shoulder blades down and together?) can also push distractions from your mind.

If things are not coming together, remember to put your horse (and, depending on the situation, your safety!) first. If your horse is going to end up having a bad experience, it can be best to make the tough decision to excuse yourself and school later, in a refreshed state of mind, to make sure you don’t end up with a ring-sour type issue.

After the ride, remember, there WILL be other classes, other shows, other championships. There WON’T be other chances to renew your reputation if you react poorly to the situation.

When I first started competing, I was riding saddleseat. After the class, the riders line up and the announcer calls out the placings. The 3rd place rider refused to take the ribbon and turned her nose up at the ring steward who tried to hand it to her (keep in mind, this was an 11 and under class!). The girl’s trainer had to run in to grab the ribbon after she had walked out. I’ll never forget that moment and what a bad taste it left, even at such a young age.

So, be gracious. If you need to cry or yell or spend some time disappointed, go to the bathroom, or to your trailer, or to the hotel. Expressing these feelings will help you regroup and get back to your relaxed awareness state to go over the ride and explore the ins and outs of what transpired. This is not the time to blame your coach, your saddle, the judges, and, of course, your horse!

And, just to reiterate, I am not saying it is easy to have rides like this, in any of the three scenarios! Essentially, this post can be summed up into three words:

Riding. Is. Mental. (and not mental in the British usage meaning crazy, although it can be a little of that as well!)

What do you do when things don’t go as planned? Are there exercises you use to mentally regroup?