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Hey guys! It's been a while since I've written a personal post, so here's a little update on what's been going on with me. The Royal Winter Fair just ended and with the closing of our Canadian show season, it always causes me to reflect on the past year, both personally and professionally.

This year, a question that's echoed a lot in my head is "is good enough actually enough?". I told you guys I would keep this blog real and as a horse industry professional, I sometimes feel the urge to cut through the flowers and share some of the realities of the industry. When I said "good enough", I don't mean as an athlete. We all know we're only as good as our last win, and especially as professionals, a lack of improvement or growth spells our doom. We will never be "good enough" in this sport, because it's constantly evolving, and more and more professional riders enter the ranks each year to compete against.

No, the good enough I'm talking about is on a deeper level. I recently read an interesting article from a farming blog FatherandFarmer and it dealt with farmer suicide. While the horse industry doesn't revolve around uncontrollable factors like quantity of rain, sun, etc. what hit home for me was the farmer's mentality. The feel of lack of control, of being pushed to your limits and feeling like you can't reach out to those around you. You put your head down, continue working and just push yourself harder. We're told that longer, harder hours are the path to success. But what are the results?

Exhaustion. Sickness. Burnout. Apathy. And in these farmers' cases; a feeling of hopelessness so deep, they would rather take their own life than ask for help. I realize this is a pretty dark picture, when the horse industry is surely not so dark; look at the glitz, the glamour, the luxury. But can we really all be that naive?

I had an amazing time at the Royal Winter Fair this year. I unfortunately wasn't competing, but I had the wonderful opportunity to watch the World Cup qualifier with reigning Olympic Gold medallist Nick Skelton and Big Star, as well as other major notable competitors like Kent Farrington and Laura Kraut. I ate at the Royal Court, I dressed up for the Big Ben Challenge on Saturday night, took cute pictures of jackets I liked and partied the night away.

 Posing for a classic photo in front of the Royal display

 A beautiful jacket I'm in love with from Hacks and Hills Apparel

 Dinner with the crew at the Royal Court on Big Ben night

Big Star and Nick Skelton in the World Cup 

That's what I could have shown, like we all do on social media. I was going to make a post dedicated to my nights at the Royal; you can see all of the fun we're having, looking so happy without a care in the world. But if I talked about the weeks leading up to the Royal: full of stress, of 7 day work weeks, early mornings and the week after: being burnout and in bed sick with the flu.

That probably doesn't seem too severe, I mean, surely I had fun and my job is naturally physically tiring. But it goes deeper than that. A year ago, I barely was able to go to the Royal, let alone take a day off, because I was mucking stalls and feeding at 6 a.m each day. Something I love and enjoy and would never complain about. Just like I never complain when I have to come back to the barn in the dead of night when a horse colics. Or getting 3 hours of sleep before a horse show. Riding 10 horses a day. Dealing with high maintenance clients, endless phone calls, breaking equipment and bills and bills and bills. I chose this life. But when the mentality is to just "work harder" and seeking help is seen as weakness, how many of us out there are silently struggling and suffering?

It's no secret that our industry is rife with drinking and drug problems galore and I have seen it first hand. Pros that have struggled for years, only to devolve into drinking or drug habits, mental illness and eventually the closing of their doors. Once proud, talented riders; now haggard, jaded and miserable, so much so that they gave up their only love because it finally turned into their ruin. We judge these riders and tell ourselves that will never be us, but what got them to that point in the first place? What if in our safe seat of judgment, we missed the fact that maybe reaching out to those in need could help our industry as a whole, or at least our peers who may be desperate for a helping hand, but too proud to admit it? 

You may say I'm being a bit overreactive or alarmist, but I've worked for numerous professionals around the world for YEARS and can count on one hand the ones who seemed genuinely happy with their lives as horse professionals.

Writing this post, I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with it; initially, it was to talk about the amazing competition at the Royal (which was truly inspiring and world-class), then perhaps to talk about how we can deal with physical tiredness and sickness as riders. But now, I feel like shedding a light on a taboo subject like depression and burnout in the horse industry is a much worthier cause. And it doesn't have to just be horse trainers or riders. I've seen career grooms in dire straits, who I think have it harder than anyone in the industry to be honest.

So why do we suffer and struggle in silence? It's no secret that making a real profit in this industry is no easy feat. Most of us joke that it's just an expensive hobby. The downfall is that this expensive hobby also leads to physical and mental exhaustion, overall dissatisfaction with life and can of course lead to much more serious consequences. The brutal and unforgiving nature of the industry perpetuates this.

Without clients, without good horses, without their money, we have no way of generating an income. We are dependent on keeping our clients happy and as such, we try to turn ourselves into human superheroes. Of course we can ride 15 horses a day single-handedly; you want your horse body clipped too? We can make 6 trailer trips of course; who needs a day off? But if you're telling yourself these things, then you're lying to yourself. We are only human. We can't make everyone happy and we certainly can't "do it all". For those professionals that are reading this, I know you've had days where you've broken down and thought to yourself "I can't do this anymore". 

You might argue that this is common with any industry or profession, and I agree that each career has its struggles and times of desperation. But the horse industry can be so fickle and relentless; with no opportunity to give your body or mind a break, it turns into an endless loop. If only you could get enough sleep, you could ride more horses. If you ride more horses, you can make ends meet, and those thoughts of bills keep you up at night. I have never seen more fortitude than in horse professionals. But I think it's time we're honest with ourselves and that we start to ask for help.

No one has to struggle and suffer alone. And this is why "good enough" is never enough. You'll always disappoint someone and the harder you try to push yourself, the worse it will become. I don't have answers for the future; the industry continues to cater to clients who have the resources to do this as a hobby and we have to in some way, shape ourselves and our businesses to cater to them as well. But if we can begin to have an honest dialogue about the struggles and the hardships, maybe we can change the mentality that you just have to be "tougher" to get ahead.

There's no shame in admitting you need help, and working harder and longer is not the answer. Even if this post reaches one person who needs it, I want anyone in the agricultural industry to know that they're not alone. If we all reach out to each other, especially in times of need, we can all benefit and shed light on those dark areas of our industry we sometimes choose to ignore.

Please share this post and I would love to hear comments from other professionals, to break the stigma of hardship in our sport. Let's make "good enough", good enough.