There are two things to aim at in life; first to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second.
Logan Pearsall Smith

A while back Julie suggested and then ordered I make a goal chart for myself since I was being a little hard when I rode. I suffer from chronic perfectionism 100x over the normal level. Whether I'm assembling food and hay bags;mucking out stalls or pastures; loping on the lunge line;doing homework or household chores I always grill myself and keep track of everything done wrong and not done right. If it's messed up food;misplaced brushes;broken dishes or more red marks than check marks I'll hand myself for it all and won't forget it. So I decided to make an achievements chart. Here it is:

1-got into a saddle and on a horse without bailing out again and leaving with a feeling of self-loathe in my gut. I won't deny that all 14 hands of Cody filled me with unease when I discovered we were trotting on our first lesson. With Sandy there was no trotting until I could control Tasha and myself at the walk. Then jog. Then trot. Until then we walked all throughout her pasture and land. With Cody it was control at a walk then jog then trot the same day. Butterflies went everywhere but I did it and had fun. 

2-cantered for the first time and loved it. I never pictured myself going past the trot but that day we cantered and it felt great. Now I'm working on perfecting my seat so I don't keep bouncing out. I keep replaying Ariel's words, 'envision yourself as a sack of potatoes sitting straight but deep in the saddle", that day I didn't move at all. I envision those potatoes when I can't seem to keep my seat and it tends to work. 

3-Rode alone in the dark on a grumpy horse without either Julie or Ariel there to help. Even when Cody bucked and kicked when I approached I didn't give uo until Julie could meet with me. I walked through the mud and dragged Cody in to be groomed and tacked up. When we lunged he acted hostile but otherwise well mannered. When I rode him in Sandalwood's outdoor arena in the dark(almost dark) he acted terrible. I requested a canter and he took off. When he stopped it was sudden and ill-timed and I nearly flipped over his head onto the ground. When he arched his back and tucked his chin I managed to get off, walk him around, and get right back on. We did patterns and ended on a good note and I returned two days later to ride. 

4-performed multiple patterns at a trot and canter without getting lost in my work and without very many faults. After that I figured we could do it all, while not very true we are getting better and steadily improving in different areas. My figure eights still look like eggs and our lead changes aren't sure whether to fly or hide but getting better. 

5-cantered the whole arena at Wyn while going over poles and between jump standards without bouncing or moving once. It as though a second nature took over and I was just there for the ride. As one of the girls pointed out I'd never sat straighter,had a quieter seat, looked more relaxed and looked and did as good then as I had ever before and with loose reins in one hand too. If only I could copy that moment in time. 

6-fell out of the saddle at a canter and got back in the saddle within four minutes of hitting the ground face first. The gentleman who ran over to check on me looked unsure as to allow me back on Cody and Jordan looked shocked I got back on so fast. I'm not sure how much if that was nerves and how much was adrenaline from falling so unexpectedly. Either way I got back on and we stuck to trotting patterns for a while after. I believe it was a few weeks before I braved the canter again but now I try as often as possible with no worries of falling clouding my mind. 

7-took Cody over three jumps set at three feet and in a tight row. I don't know what possessed me to jump them and especially in a Western saddle too. But I did.  I gave him a longer but taut rein and allowed him to pick his speed and we sailed over those jumps without an issue. Never once did I come unseated nor did Cody tip the bars. We both enjoyed it and were tempted to do more. Of course I also found out Cody enjoys jumping more than anything else and every jump set up he desperately wanted to go over. We went over a few more here and there but nothing extensive. If it wasn't for the fact that large horses are used for large jumps I may enjoy doing that occasionally. 

8-stayed calm when Jac spooked after losing traction on ice and having snow blown on his back legs. He pulled a 'hi horse Silver' on me as he reared up and stumbled backwards causing me to slip on ice and slide towards him. Somehow I managed to stay calm and relax him before continuing to the stable. I also managed to not freak out when Rose ripped the cross ties down. Her eyes were huge, she was snorting and shifting and pacing to and fro then suddenly she whipped her head up and stumbled backwards into Jac. That isn't exactly normal behaviour and that doesn't sound like a horse that has a bad attitude it sounds like a horse that was frightened by something I didn't see or hear. All I know is a cat was playing in the corner but she's seen those cats before. Instead of panicking over a possibly injured horse and possibly ruined cross ties I managed to calm us both down. That wouldn't have been a possibility before. 

So. All in all I think that's pretty awesome. I've still got so much more but perhaps I need to, as my friends have told me, take it easy on myself and look more at my accomplishments and less at my mistakes. The same applying to school and general activities in life. For what I the purpose of trying different things if you can't find reasons to enjoy them? 

Have a happy ride