Adjusting Your Leadership to Keep Attention

If you can keep adjusting your leadership to be more dependable, flexible, understanding and intelligent, the horse is more willing to form a loyal partnership and put a greater effort into his performance. The biggest mistake people make in their relationship and communication with horses is to not understand that the development of leadership with horses should be spent in managing the connection, bond and trust through attentiveness. Being attentive, you can respond to the changing attitudes in the horse and the environment and keep a horse willing before he gets out of hand. If you do not have respect and trust in a horse, you are unlikely to be able to tell him what to do and in the same breath expect him to take care of you. This kind of horse is hard to find.

Because horses are prey animals, when you take away its ability to escape from a predator by controlling him under saddle or on the ground, you are put in the role of a leader that will protect him. Horses are very observant on how focused you are and take this as a sign of your leadership ability. The horse will judge your ability to lead by testing your authority and leadership by seeing if they can push you around here and there. If they can, then a horse feels you don’t really have the leadership ability to keep them safe and that they are better off protecting themselves by resisting your leadership and following their own. Fixing this problem is not about proving your capabilities with an aggressive attitude or forceful leading but rather by providing attentive leadership and by choosing how you communicate.

You know me by now; I am more about horsemanship, relationships and how to connect with horses than training or fixing problems. I also feel that horses do not owe us anything. We only have a right to train them, ride them or use them for their companionship if we are attentive to their needs and the horse is willing.

If you work within the connection and have good horsemanship skills, you will find that horses enjoy being in service and enjoy our company without any need for fixing problems.

As I see it, the horse community in general lacks trust that the natural magnetism between the horse world and our world is strong enough to make force unnecessary. The way we treat our horses in general is the way we treat ourselves, our children, our partners and most everyone in our lives. So learning how to connect with a horse without force or the need of an aggressive attitude is a really good thing. Horses like strong leaders but there is a big difference between strong leaders and forceful leaders. What we are looking for is a balance between feminine and masculine needs and qualities in appropriate measures to have an enthusiastic working partnership.

Based on reader responses, here are the results of everything you would like your partner (man or woman) to be. Think about how this relates to your relationship with your horse.

Attribute Preference

Loving 16%

Sensitive 7%

Honest 16%

Supportive 6%

Kind 15%

Strong 6%

Fun 12%

Respectful 6%

Attentive 9%

Intelligent 6%

Carolyn Resnick