Red Neck Stop Sign

Last Friday I thought that my truck was fairly operational- besides the fact I could not turn it off- then it did not want to start again.

So I figured, just don’t turn it off ‘til I get to Virginia- it’s a diesel, so I really don’t have to turn it off to fuel up.

Technically, that is correct. However, if your truck DIES while you are driving it 75 miles per hour down the highway, while you are talking to someone in England- well Houston, you have a problem.

I definitely did- and I was pulling my 32 foot horse trailer behind me with a horse. I calmly- after cursing profusely, steered my truck- that had locked down and died- to the right shoulder. It had NO power.

I then called Nicola and Jim- “HELP!!!!!” There are trucks and trailers everywhere- flying past me- only inches away- come SAVE ME!!!!”

I really wasn’t that desperate…Ok, maybe I was, and feeling slightly vulnerable.

Note… very patiently- waited in the truck for my rescuers. I texted everyone to let them know about my dilemma, and held off to call US Rider- I wasn’t that far from home!!!!

1 hour later, Nicola shows up- of course in tight jeans with rips around the knees, a tank top and her black bra strap hanging out. She walked non-chalantly- i.e. strutted- to my truck- 45 seconds later a red neck pulled over. MAGIC!

I quickly motioned for her to come to the truck- “I HAVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR OVER AN HOUR, AND YOU SHOW UP IN A TANK TOP AND A RED NECK IMMEDIATELY PULLS OVER WITH A TOW CHAIN- YOU’RE A RED NECK STOP SIGN!!!

She giggled like she does, pretending to not take me seriously.

The red neck’s tires of his chevy were grabbing the dirt as he backed his truck up along the side of the highway. His back window said it all.

Every Red Neck bumper sticker imaginable was emblazed on it-

When the owner of the said vehicle emerged, it was clear, that the two were a pair. Brandon (I found out later was his name) sported a cut off shirt, emblazed with a Dixie Flag on the front with all kinds of mudd’n lingo on the back of it. He was covered in tattoos- of course, one that said Dixie and another that said Kelli (Which I thought was an odd coincidence) and various other Red neck wording.

He made the guys from Ducky Dynasty look like a bunch of preppies.

Little did I know that he was a really great guy- friendly and very helpful- my Red Neck Angel!

He sprang into action, and assured me that he could uncouple my trailer, move my truck, then hitch up Nicola’s trailer. Before I could say, “Great” he sprang into action. 5 minutes later, he had a tow chain around my truck and asked me if I knew hand signals. I asked him- are you planning on towing my truck with YOUR truck? He replied, “oh yeah, I towed a double wide with this truck!”

He showed me a picture- he wasn’t kidding.

“Hand signals- I knew a bit of sign language- then when he started to demo, I realized that he meant HAND SIGNALS like for driving. I had a flashback to when I was 6 driving with my great-grandmother in her ancient Buick, and using hand signals to signal turns and stopping- ok, I thought, I am over 40 and know that, but most other folks around here never knew life before a computer, so they probably WON’T know.

Enough proof for me. I went with it- I was desperate- and with a thud, we were off. Not drifting softly on the shoulder of the road as I had suspected we would, but flying down the center of the highway around 60 mph.

Who needs Disney when you can do this?

It was a bit frightening when I realized that all that was holding my truck to his truck was a chain, and I had no power, and hardly any brakes.

There was no turning back. Even in South Carolina, I am sure that this was illegal.

After exiting the off ramp, he speeded and I glided behind to an auto parts store. We landed in the parking lot.

With no luck for a part, Brandon told me he would drive me to another auto parts store. Seconds later, my truck was unhooked, and we were flying to auto parts store #2. I realized quickly that my side of the car had no door handle, and there were a lot of little plastic toys tossed into the side compartment. Brandon was either a kidnapper or a dad.

Turned out he was a dad. He explained to me all his money was under the hood of his truck and not in the interior.

It certainly did drive well.

1 hour later we decided the truck had to go back to the truck hospital- $3000 later I finally came to my senses and traded it for my new Dodge: