Re-adjusted my focus!! Cathy River's new blog post The Language of Confidence. Amazing what I've been saying to myself...#shift #mindset....

 

http://www.bighorsedreams.com/2012/09/the-language-of-confidence/

by Cathy Rivers

The Equestrian's Confidence Coach

www.confidencejumpstart.com

How you speak to yourself and to others will either boost your confidence or undermine it. Because you are constantly using language (essentially non-stop), consciously speaking to enhance your confidence is of the upmost importance.

Your language shapes your experience of the moment. Period. Language that undermines your confidence is likely a habit that you aren’t aware of.

I’m going to share some examples with you. Some of these speech patterns are very subtle. Even if it seems like a ‘little thing’, the impact on your confidence is powerful.

“I don’t know what to do!” There are a lot of variations of this phrase: “I’m stuck.” “This won’t work.” “This is too much for me.” “I’ll never get this.” See the theme? Shift your speaking to, “This is something I will have to figure out”. Or, “This is something I can figure out”.

Our sub-conscious hears, and believes, everything we say whether it is true or not. “I don’t know what to do” is what your inner-self is going to buy into if this is what you are repeating to yourself or aloud to others.

And, there is always an emotion that goes with your speaking. “I don’t know what to do” evokes confusion, helpless, incompetence, something along these lines. “This is something I will figure out” evokes hope, certainty, determination and possibility.

So what would you rather experience?

Here are 5 more examples of confidence-breaking phrases and their alternatives:

 “I’m afraid my horse will bolt” >>> “I see that I have a fear my horse will bolt. What help can I get to work through this?

“I hope my test will go well” >>> “I’ve been practicing the past 2 weeks for this test”

“I can’t do what my trainer is asking of me” >>> “There is something that I am not getting, yet. But I will.”

“I’ll never get flying changes” >>> “We’ve been practicing flying changes for 1 week and it takes a whole season to get them solid”

 “I can’t afford…..” >>> “If this is something I want, I need to generate X number of dollars”

Now, I am not suggesting that you simply just state the opposite.  Don’t turn “I don’t know what to do” into “I do know what to do”.  Or “I’m afraid” to “I’m not afraid”. This exercise isn’t about putting on rose-colored glasses.

The new phrase has to be true for you. If you are afraid, you are afraid. An empowered phrase might be, “I can see that I am afraid and I will get support”.

The examples demonstrate how being factual and practical support your confidence.

Your homework:  Listen to your speaking. See if you can hear yourself undermine your confidence with your words. Write the phrases down. Now write down alternative empowering phrases that support your confidence rather than tear it down.

In my next article I will talk about how the language of blame is a confidence killer as well.

© 2012 Big Horse Dreams, Inc.

Would you like to work with a professional on your confidence issues? Contact Cathy for a complimentary 30-minute Confidence Discovery Session. Click Here!

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