As posted on Mare Stare...


How to soak a donkeys foot

1. get bucket or low tub, fill with warm water, add epson salts until fully diluted. get donkey, place in cross ties, pick up foot, slide bucket into place. place foot in tub.

2. retrieve tub from corner of barn, get towel to dry off your face.

3. refill tub with water and salts. shorten cross ties. pick up donkeys foot and place in tub.

4. retrieve tube from other stall, retrieve donkey from his stall. find bailing twine to fix broken cross tie. wrap towel around hair to dry. check rapidly bruising toe for signs of breakage.

5. place rocks in bottom of tub to weigh it down. snub donkey to wall of stall, refill tub with water and salt. pick up donkeys foot and place in tub. hold up other front leg.

6. pick self up off of stall floor. find place outside where tub was flung. retrieve donkey from neighbors garden. pull rocks out of donkeys water bucket. call spouse for opinion on whether or not wrist may be broken. explain multiple times to emergency room stall that you did not FALL off of the donkey.

7. return home, enlist spouse to hold donkey. hobble hind legs, tie up front leg, fill tub with water and salt. slide tub into place while pinning donkey against wall.

8. apologize to spouse as you view hoof prints across favorite shirt. wonder if water and salt is bad for new wrist cast. check out burgeoning black eye from broken hobbles. retrieve donkey from cattle farm across the road. share laugh with farmer about how fast a donkey can run on only three legs.

9. go to grocery store to purchase ice packs, ibuprofen, more salts and scotch.

10. call vet and ask them to come over and show how to soak a donkeys foot. pour self tall glass of scotch while waiting.