Why don't people seem to want a relationship with their horse?

I have noticed this a lot recently, I don't know if it is me looking at the world through adults eyes, or whether it is just becoming more and more common, that so many people are buying and riding horses as they would buy and drive a car, let me elaborate.

My mare Navara, I have had since November, and have barely ridden her because I feel her confidence and ability to cope mentally with being ridden is not as high as it should be, she is receiving reiki, and is also having a chiropractor specialist in the McTimony method look after her back that has suffered it's problems due to an old injury that was never rectified. I love that horse with heart, mind, and soul, truly. We play, we learn new tricks, and we have cuddles like you or I would hug another human, you can get lost in the moment and really feel the love and the bond that we have already.
But I see other girls and boys my age, buy a horse, and the very next day, or sometimes the same day they are charging around, jumping them, taking them out with friends as if they had owned them for years. Often I hear...he's nothing like he was when I tried him, or...my gosh he's so naughty. I sat there and thought, why can't thee people see what they are doing?. If I was taken from my home and stuffed in a new place and ordered to work and walk for miles with people I had never met, and places I had never been, and when I looked confused, or stumbled or was uncertain that I wanted to go with these people, I was whipped or accused of being naughty, how would I feel?
Why can people not allow a horse to settle, and why do they not see a horse as a thinking, living, breathing being with free will.

There have been times when I wished me and Navara could gallop off into the sunset, but I am enjoying our bonding, and trick training so much that most of the time it doesn't even cross my mind. I would much rather have a horse that want's to look after me, values my company and truly misses me when im not there, than a horse that runs away from me, tries to throw me off, bites me, or wishes he had never met me.

There is one or two girls in particular that stick in my mind as being the sort that use their horse like a banger racing car to be used and abused and replaced the minute something goes wrong.

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Comment by Jackie Cochran on August 2, 2010 at 3:20pm: You might be also interested in the Skittish Mare discussion in the Over 50 Crowd group here.

Comment by Jennifer Lamm on August 2, 2010 at 3:04pm: Well like I said you are on the right track if you ask me..... the Indians, when they would have horses that they were going to take into battle, bareback with bows and arrows, would spend their days with their war ponies..... playing games, joining up, getting the ponies to follow... lay down, take naps together.. all that... the American warriors used to wonder how to get their ponies like that when they were way more nervous and anxious....you and your friend are going to have the best relationship.. I hear that too "why aren't you riding him".. and I say cuz so far I don't feel like I need to.. we have a million other things we are doing... they don't get it.. I get you Avesha..... you are doing right by your horse..

Comment by Ayesha on August 2, 2010 at 2:20pm: I often get people going "why aren't you riding her yet", "why aren't you doing this?" "Why aren't you doing that?".

I wan't me and Navara to be the best partnership, and friendship, to look after each other, and we can't be like that if she's unhappy or anxious about things. She has been rushed, hurried in the past and it led to her bucking, broncing, rearing,and meanness towards humans.

There are so many girls, that race, and jump their horses to death, then when the horses refuse to brake or instead bolt they wonder why, and as a result get sold on to someone with harder hands who will abuse the horse for doing something it's been taught to do.

I promise that in the future with horses I will work with as many as I can to give them happiness, purpose and to feel like there is no time scale on how long they can have to settle, or how long until we can go for a nice ride in the woods, or to a show. I don't want to be one of the many that see a horse as a machine and nothing more, and I refuse to be that sort of person.

Comment by Jennifer Lamm on August 2, 2010 at 1:35pm: the video is overlapping I am so sorry, it sounds so stupid... but he is coming at a trot and stopping when I ask and he is just my bud now... and we are having fun and I've never even ridden him yet... :)

Comment by Jennifer Lamm on August 2, 2010 at 1:34pm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktAIH1ELMRI

:) Some people ONLY study relationship training.... now you do know me but Jackie does... and she will see a happy willing Oliver here:) keep playing with her.. she will fall in love with you back...

Comment by Jennifer Lamm on August 2, 2010 at 1:28pm: Well YOU are on the right track if you ask me.... don't fall into other people and don't push your horse.. you are SMART!! I'm not riding my horse yet because we work on relationships.. wanna see my latest video???? he comes to me now at a trot... !! Keep up the good work.. relationship is MOST important.. that's what the Indians believe and they have the best ponies...

Comment by Jackie Cochran on August 2, 2010 at 9:52am: Same thing was happening when I was a girl, only then NO-ONE was trying to get into a deep relationship with their horse.
It took me decades to learn how to act around horses properly, to realize that their opinions of my riding are valid, and to realize that a horse is not exactly the same every day, and that they may hurt, be sick, have an unpleasant flash-back, etc., etc., etc.. I also had to learn that there are no quick fixes and guaranteed results in training and riding horses.