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I'm not one to talk--having just given a horse away that had a bucking problem that I couldn't solve, but I do have a few ideas.
The Tom Thumb can be a very confusing bit for horses. It sends sloppy signals because the jointed mouthpiece is a bad combination on a curb bit. If you want a stronger bit than an average snaffle, you can look into a snaffle that has a twist or a narrower mouth piece. Another option would be a kimberwicki with a solid mouth piece. (This is likely the cause of the backing problem) I have suggested this to a number of people who saw a big difference from the switch.
To get a reliable stop, I would introduce your gelding to clicker training. Once he understand it, start clicking and treating from the ground. Do it so much that even if he is loose and you say "whoa" he will stop on his own. Then, start it in the saddle--lots of repetitions. He will get so solid with his stops in just a couple of weeks that he will become a much safer horse. At that point, you can move on to other things. If you don't use clicker training for anything else, use it to teach him to stop. (I use it for lots of things, but this is the best thing I have ever taught my horse.) There is plenty of online information to get you started on clicker training with horses.
Hope this helps.
Since you're only having these issues with him while riding, I wonder if he "understands" the concept of being ridden. Horses can take off or run away when they're scared, and they can also do it on purpose if they've learned through experience that it's a way to get a rider off their backs.
If you think he's confused or scared, I'd suggest doing ground work with him saddled, and doing things to make him feel safe with you on him, like mounting and just petting him or giving him a treat and then getting off, eventually just asking for simple things until you feel like he really gets what supposed to be happening and isn't upset about it. How does he respond to the bit on the ground? If you pull back on the reins will he back up or fight it? If he fights it, maybe he just doesn't understand the bit, and maybe it worries him. In any case, I'd suggest small enclosures and low gaits until you can stop him anytime you want to without him ignoring you. If he takes off in a ring, you can always turn him into the fence and let that stop him so you don't get hurt.
However, if you think he's being obstinate and just doesn't want to be ridden, you may really have to look at what positively motivates your horse and thoroughly incorporate it into your ride time so he isn't so reluctant.
Good luck, and I hope you don't fall off anymore! It's never a good time.
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