How has getting a little older changed your attitude about riding - and life?

How has everyone changed in their outlook as they've gotten a bit older? In particular, are you braver? More fearful? More tolerant? Less tolerant? Do you feel stronger or weaker physically and in terms of how you deal with people and issues?

I am more inclined to take risks. Not safety risks, but just in doing things and saying things that I would never have said or done when I was younger. I am also better at speaking up on my own behalf and I have tried very hard to get toxic people out of my life.

I also view my riding differently and completely march to my own drummer now, doing what I want with no guilt.

One thing that I haven't been able to change is my long memory and I still tend to be unable to move past some stuff that happened years ago. For example, if someone was horrible to me years ago, I still can't stand them years later and I still can't be nice. Is anyone else like that or is it just me??

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Replies to This Discussion

I have the same experience from the past as well as the present. I find the horse world is very small in my community, and even if people cross the line,"in my view", there is still a bridge that needs to be maintained.
I guess I feel this way for the sake of horses, you never know where you can contribute something positive.
I've noticed that with more mature riders, we have the luxury of not having so much competitive pressure. I see a shift in goals to horsemanship, rather than performance per se- and it's really encouraging. Plus, you would be amazed at how much you CAN do. I have met several riders who STARTED riding AFTER the age of 50 (can you imagine starting a sport later in life and expecting to be good at it...?) and they are good at it. The latest issue this month of Dressage Today had an article on three ladies in the 70's- one of whom picked up riding after 50, and is now training to compete in her first Grand Prix test.
The difference is that younger riders can get away with not doing anything besides riding. Whereas the older you are the more critical it is for safety and effectiveness as a rider, to also engage in other activities which constantly enhance your flexibility and proprioception (awareness of where your body is), muscle mass (you're losing half a pound a year after the age of 25), and core strength. As one of my favourite (60 year old) motivational speakers says, you can fall out of shape, but if you're going to accomplish something you have to do it on purpose . If any in this group are interested in fitness tips, just comment on the Ride Fit/Ride Better 1-2-3 blog on this site. I select questions each week, and provide free fitness suggestions.
I didn't ride for 25 years or so, then went back to it when I was 50. My confidence is not as good as when I was younger, but then i knew that and actually started riding again as a way to increase my confidence. (worked). I have limits now on what I will do. - I'll jump 3 feet, but no higher. I am more intersted in learning all I can about all different types of riding. I ride for relaxation, and for joy, and to learn, exercise, and to enjoy the barn and the horses and the dogs and the people ( some of them). I have no time to waste on drama queens, or people who feel the need to drag me into the barn politics, and I cut them off at the knees quickly if they try. I have an extremely stressful job - I am an oncology nurse, so I don't need anymore drama around me when I am away from work. I take my time. My communication skills are better than they were when I was young. I still just love being around horses, and their personalities. I really enjoy having my own horse, and learning about training, and the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings of being around a barn. I probably learn more from my horse than he learns from me :-).
Wow, I could not have said it better to describe how I'm feeling these days.
There is a sense of freedom that comes with all of this.
It seems to be a worn-out metaphor these days, but I AM enjoying the journey with my horse more. I am more likely to listen to what my horse is trying to tell me - we're working on our changes and I have realized that I really to need to be more specific in my aids, so I'm trying to find the right amount of "ask" in the change with my outside leg. Well I swung it back a bit too far and he kicked out. Okay - instead of getting all mad (which the younger me would have done) I figured he was telling me "too far" so next time I didn't swing quite so far and got a good change. I also clued in to the fact I am not bilaterally supple through my pelvis and will need to address that with exercises, physio, stretching, whatever it takes. I have realized that my horse can only perform as well as I can ride. I can only ride as well as I have the energy and fitness level for. I try to ride more with "feel" and less with my thinking mind (if I "think" through all the aids and try to align my body like building blocks before each change we might get 1 for every 3 times across the diagonal instead of every 4th or 3rd stride - never mind tempis!). My riding now fits in with all the other aspects of my life, which includes maintaining my own "no longer able to bounce quite as well" body. I am far more picky about where I keep my horse and the atmosphere - I will not tolerate toxic environments and people and prefer to avoid them. Both my horse and I need to be happy.
There is much benefit to getting older and wiser....
Very cool way to read your horse...like-minded and working together.
I swear they have a sense of humor and like it when we laugh with them.
Will not tolerate toxic environments and people. Great attitude!
Love to hear about your horse.
Wow!! I'm so glad that I found you people!! I couldn't agree more! I have much less tolerance for know it all "cowboy" types, so I guess you could say that I am more tolerant of my horses the older I get and much less tolerant of people. I am much more interested in having a real connection with my animals than racing across the fields anymore. Isn't it fantastic growing into yourself and finally realizing that you do know a thing or two? I won't be pursuaded be vets (emergency only) drug or feed companies anymore and that's a great feeling!

Year's ago we had vet that used to talk awful to me, he called me stupid and made me cry..often. I hated the site of him. Anyway about 3 years later he pulled me aside and said "I don't know what your doing with these horses, but they are a pleasure to be around".

That simple act made me forgive him gave me confidence and we became very fond of each other. He taught me alot but that was the last time anyone would talk to me that way especially when it comes to my animals. If he hadn't appologized barbera, I'd deffinately still hate him.......so yes I agree, some people aren't worth the trouble and I wouldn't talk to them either unless it'll make YOU feel better! That's the great thing about aging eh...you finally grow some stones ;)

p.s. I deffinately take less risks, I can't take the time off work if I break my arm!!
By know it all cowboy types, do you mean kick-em to go and pull em to stop or rough demeaners or a cowboy hat and chaps or something else all-together? Personally I like the western look but nt so much the old scholl attitude but I see that in all any riding styles. Do you like natural horsemanship?
Well, thanks shirley!! You certainly would have laughed if you could have seen me trimming my horse, she was o.k but I was a filthy sweaty mess, you're right, she was laughing at me. To answer you're question yes I do beleive in natural horsemanship, our horses don't even get grain & that's why I'm curious about the bitless bridle too. Oh, and just so everyone is clear......I am not a horse trainer, i just muddle through it, my horse is very kind (thank gawd)

Oh yeah, old school heavy handed cowboys suck, but the good looking gentle ones are o.k eh?
I have used a rope halter and reins that compare to the Parelli hackamore. I can't think what they call it but basically it works as a bitless bridle. My guy, Cash, seems to be happier with a snaffle bit in his mouth. I am very light handed in general and that might make a difference?
I, like most people, have had things happen to me throughout my life that, for a long time, left me feeling bitter ... and then one day I woke up and realized that the only person I was really hurting by holding on to those feelings was myself. In the past few years I have learned to let go of the bitterness and as a result the anger has disappeared too. Consequently my relationships with people and animals have become more positive and rewarding and, naturally enough, I am kinder to myself. I have learned to let go of toxic people and am more aware of how these types of people affect me so I can remove myself from their presence. I am more patient, more self-aware, more in tune with the world around me. The horses could have taught this to me years ago if only I'd been paying attention. I am grateful now for their lessons and do whatever I can to touch the lives of the horses and people within my circle of influence in a positive way. I do my best, anyway.
I think you are an amazingly positive person, and I thought that the first time I read one of you posts. Keep it up!

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