Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jackie Cochran on November 9, 2009 at 9:09pm

Jenn, for some reason I am getting the feeling that you are missing relating with other horses as well as other people. I have been a lot less depressed when I started taking lessons at a pretty busy lesson stable, both for the chance to talk to several different horse people and to meet and admire their horses, than when I was stuck at home not being able to really progress with my own horses (health issues.)
You sound like you need 1) some quality time with a horse that will listen to you when you ride him, just to refresh yourself and remind yourself why you got into horses in the first place, and 2) a chance to relate with a horse that does not have serious issues. In other words you sound burnt out with your own horses. I've been there. It can be a real bummer.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Lamm on November 10, 2009 at 2:19pm

Well, I have a lot of cyber friends, and a few friends that I relate to on line with photos and stories, but in real life, ya.. I live in L.A. not everyone that I am close friends with have horses and not everyone that has horses do I wish to any longer be friends with..... I have a few really good friends that come and help me deal with Oliver....

I am not used to being around horses at all..... but I live in a community where I can go and find them and sit with them and watch their herds and stuff..... I am very selective about who I hang out with with my horses..... and non horsey people are my favorite.... the friends I did have were always in my ear so I actually got rid of like 4 friends I had that I used to ride with..... and I prefer to be on my own learning.... I watch a Chris Irwin video now every day and go and try it with my horses.. but issues, yes my dear, there are those, and some of them are mine.... If my Toby, who is 28, shall ever leave me, I will find Oliver a suitable friend... and maybe a much mild mannered horse that doesn't give me crap and I shall ride that horse.. but for now,l it is what it is, and I just need to vent.....

Permalink Reply by Marti Langley on November 10, 2009 at 8:20pm

Jenn, you know I am your friend always and forever. I loves ya, Sista!

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Lamm on November 10, 2009 at 9:24pm

yes, you are my good good friend Marti. I like the people here at Barnmice better than the people I am talking about... and some day I can meet more people with my horse. :)

Permalink Reply by Marti Langley on November 10, 2009 at 10:22pm

Sorry your trip up was detoured by me. Come up soon, Sweetie.

Permalink Reply by Shirley on November 11, 2009 at 10:56am

To Jenn or whom it may concern, "But I have so much more to live through" ...and what a grand voyage that can be! Sometimes I wonder 'Why am I having to go thru this?' And boy do I get agitated at times but it helps me if I can focus on the idea that in the end I will learn something beneficial from it.
Look how much you are learning about being a really good horse person that you would not have learned had you gotten a less complicated horse. In time you will probably find this to be beneficial in ways more then your situation with Oliver. You seem to have a desire to help horses...maybe all of this learning will benefit many horses down the road or maybe it will give you some insight into a different way of being with horses or people that will come to be a real blessing to you and others. Like the body language you are learning with Chris Irwin. What percentage of horse people take the time to understand any of this for their horse? I've had people ask me,"Don't you wish you'd bought a more experienced, been there and done that kind of horse?" & I always say 'no'~~Someday, when we are out on the trails having a relaxing scenic ride, I will have the satisfaction of knowing that we did this together and we will have that special bond that I so want with my horse. Oh, I'm in such a sensitive mood,
I'm not claiming to know anything here!! But I am more at ease within myself when I can look at things from the angle, "Isn't that interesting?!" and not take it so personal but as part of a puzzle. This is a huge challenge for me. HUGE! Challenging when dealing with people~~much easier with horses....I expect horses to act like animals but people to be a bit humane. Often the reverse is more true to life.
Do you find a lot of people out there trying to prove their worth by the kind of horse they can buy and who they can take lessons from etc.? Sometimes I watch people aggressively ride their horse and they seem to be determined to 'control' the horse cause they can't control anything else in their lives. "I will make you do this!~You will do what I want!" It could be so different! A couple of times I've seen horses that have been owned by someone like this and they get sold to a kinder hearted, more intuitive person and the horse blossoms, loosens up & works so hard to work 'with' their new partner rather then fighting the control of their past slave owner. Their brain is free to learn rather then being locked up from the pressure.

I am not suggesting you are like the slave owner, don't get me wrong~~I can tell you are a good, loving horse owner. And you are doing so much to be even better.

I'm just sharing some thoughts from my whirling brain. Maybe something will click with you or someone else that is reading or maybe I'm just a bit wacky. it's good to be a little different and not with the 'in' crowd. If we were all the same, life would be much less interesting. I was a travel agent, I don't want to be a social director too. lol!

Do you find you love the honesty of animals over many people? After having to deal with some manipulating drama over the past several months, I so appreciate the honesty of horses. At least ya know what you are dealing with and can focus on a real issue rather then drama trauma. Constantly exaggerating situations that should just be looked over as 'it happens' rather then 'oh, the sky is falling'! What's interesting also with these people is that Cash warns them off with his ears when he's usually a people horse....he does not like their energy or senses that they concern me. Another 'Oh, boy~ isn't that interesting' moment for me. (Yes, I do have some of the Parelli accent in my communication LOL)
It is sunny and clear here today and might hit 50 and I'm off for a acupuncture appointment so I will be much more settled (less whirling of the brain) in a couple of hours. Cash will like me being more in the 'now' moments!
Hope ya all have a great time horsen around!
Shirley

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Lamm on November 11, 2009 at 11:18am

Shirley, you are amazing and comforting.... and I got emotional too.... all I ever wanted was a relationship with my horses, not these people that I used to pine over, and some day Oliver and I will get there.... every day finally finally finally finally it seems more hopeful... yesterday was an amazing day for us..... he was so sweet and kind and loving..... I was very optimistic after that..... so thank you for being a fantastic friend and a comforting voice...... all of you.. honestly, this is really a really nice bunch of people... I am really happy to be here...

good luck with the accupuncture!! you do not sound like you are rambling to me at all.

Permalink Reply by Marti Langley on November 11, 2009 at 12:40pm

Ummm, I haven't had an accupuncture treatment in some time. Maybe I ought to make an appointment. Really seems to help with my nerve palsy in my right arm. Yes, I love the honesty of horses, a horse can't lie. If they don't like you , they tell you, in ways subtle and not so subtle, lol.