How has getting a little older changed your attitude about riding - and life?

How has everyone changed in their outlook as they've gotten a bit older? In particular, are you braver? More fearful? More tolerant? Less tolerant? Do you feel stronger or weaker physically and in terms of how you deal with people and issues?

I am more inclined to take risks. Not safety risks, but just in doing things and saying things that I would never have said or done when I was younger. I am also better at speaking up on my own behalf and I have tried very hard to get toxic people out of my life.

I also view my riding differently and completely march to my own drummer now, doing what I want with no guilt.

One thing that I haven't been able to change is my long memory and I still tend to be unable to move past some stuff that happened years ago. For example, if someone was horrible to me years ago, I still can't stand them years later and I still can't be nice. Is anyone else like that or is it just me??

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Barbara Ellin Fox on May 10, 2009 at 11:58am

You can probably tell that I just joined "Over 40" this morning and am thrilled to find this great group. I posted a few minutes ago but have to add this:

I found this on the internet some time ago and was in my whimpering period. I thought - "ahh, this will be me" but a few months ago I ripped it off of my wall saying "This is only partially me! It's a great poem but..." I don't worry about diamonds- I have horses (and a good watch!). And I probably wouldn't wear diamonds in the barn anyway- they would scrape things and just be another thing to clean. I already wear whatever hat I wish- usually a ball cap from Practical Horseman or Dressage Today... I love wine, and to listen to my horses, and my barn at midnight.

I never have to sneak out. I come and go as I please (except that if I'm ever gone too long, Rick comes to see if I'm OK). I don't ride at night anymore but some of the harvest moons leave shadows in Arizona.

And when people come to see me...well they have to love my animals and all of the odors and fluffy stuff that goes with it.

I shovel and sweat and am thankful that I can do these physical activities--- will probably continue forever. Do I have the peace of being free? You bet. Do I love the friends who wait to nuzzle and nicker (AND demand) at any hour of the night or day? You bet. Would I walk one that is ill, until I was exhausted? Of course.

We horse lovers over 40 are so fortunate to do what we do. Enjoy

When I am Old...
I shall wear diamonds
And a wide brimmed straw hat
With silver and leather on it
and I shall spend my social security
On white wine and carrots
And sit in the alley of my barn
And listen to my horses breathe.

I will sneak out
in the middle of a summer's night
And ride the chestnut mare
Across the moonstruck meadow.
If my old bones will allow.

When people come to call I will smile and nod
As I walk them past the gardens to the barn
And show, instead, the beauty growing there
In stalls fresh-lined with straw.

I will shovel and sweat and
Wear hay in my hair as if it were a jewel.
And I will be an embarrassment to all
Who look down on me.
They've not yet found the peace in being free
To love a horse as a friend,
A friend who waits at midnight hour
With nuzzle and nicker and patient eyes
For the kind of woman I will be
When I am Old.
Author Unknown

Permalink Reply by Cindy Jeffery on May 10, 2009 at 12:54pm

What a beautiful poem Barb, it touches my soul and brings me to tears. I too have found freedom in horses especially the ones I have. I can't call them mine because they are free, but I am their caregiver, that is my purpose in as long as they are with me. I love caring for them, I hate trying to find the finances to do so (but such is reality). Any lessons or boarding we do is for their winter hay, vet bills, farrier, etc. My husband Robin is helpful in this regard but when the bills come in he gets a little testy. I love the cool mornings when I go out to feed, when the sun is rising and a cool breeze is blowing, the horses are at peace waiting for me as I quietly throw them their hay. Then I stand by and whisper blessing and stoke each one as they munch their food and let the Maker's arms surround me in security and peace.

Permalink Reply by Eileen on May 14, 2009 at 7:52am

Being a farm girl, (born and raised) I was one of the lucky ones that was able to enjoy her horse/pony in her own barn, with out having to beg mom and dad for board and taking me to the stable to have some one on one time with said pony. I did not however have the social intercourse with my peers at the barn. I understand though that during these formative years there was the every present "office politics" thing even at a barn full of preteens and teenagers. I cringe at the thought of all of these school age girls striving to be more knowlegeable and a better rider, and the best at jumping, and outstanding in the care and management of their horse. eeeeek remember the schoolgirl mentality. I see it on many of these horse sites that I visit regularly. Thank God for maturity and "old age" if there is any bright side to this senior citizen time of life it is the ability to sit back relax and do what you want the way you want and not give a hoot what someone else thinks or says about your riding, or what you are doing with your horse. So yes I think that we all have changed our attitudes over the years on our riding, personally I have never had a competitive bone in my body, I just wanted to ride for the sheer pleasure of getting on and riding out. So that part has not changed. lol but I do notice that I am wiser in how and where and when I ride. Fearless a few years back with never a thought to what "could" happen, I now think ahead before taking that shortcut ove that creek or old fence line or gully..

Permalink Reply by Carol Pullum on August 16, 2009 at 2:39am

It's the weirdest thing, but my outlook has completely changed since I started riding again after 20yrs. Yes, I think of the things I used to do(with horses), and I smile at the memories. But, now I find myself thinking more of what I am still going to do. I look forward to my riding time and feel more and more confident and at peace. I'm looking forward to years of riding ahead!!

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Lamm on August 27, 2009 at 7:15pm

Wait, did I write this???? I am going through a mid life crisis of not putting up with anyone elses crap. :) I'm gonna read all this thread, just wanted to comment on how brilliant I think you are to find your own destiny!! Jen