Tuff Love Coaching in Tears When is too far to far?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Barbara F. on March 3, 2009 at 9:35pm

I'm of the belief that if you tear someone down you can get them to the point where they are afraid to make a move for fear of doing something wrong.
I prefer the approach:

1.Find something good that the rider is doing well and let them know so they feel that they are capable of SOMETHING.

2.Move on to the area that needs improvement and guide the rider as they feel their way to a better way of doing things.

3.Regroup and re-evaluate, then repeat as the rider progresses.

People do better when they feel confident and safe from ridicule.

Permalink Reply by Rachel on March 7, 2009 at 8:24pm

Hi Barbara
thanks for your reply it is really great, i have moved the discussion to the Forum would you be able to put your reply up on that discussion, that would be great thanks.

Permalink Reply by Geoffrey Pannell on March 3, 2009 at 9:41pm

Hi Rachel, I'm glad you have brought this up. This type of instruction started with the military , and that's were it should have stayed!! There is no place at all for this kind of behaviour in coaching. Some times you are going to get tears in your pupils, simply because they may be frightened, or frustrated because they are trying so so hard to do what the coach wants, BUT NEVER should the coach be patronizing or mean,or trying to make you angry. Rarely do angry riders produce good results, no that's not write, NEVER DO ANGRY RIDERS GET GOOD RESULTS!!! As a coach I have had pupils in tears, but when this happens you must stop and find out why, console the pupil ,give some words of encouragement and rebuild the confidence ,not belittle them. Being a good coach is about observation, and not just in the horse's responses but how the rider is travelling also. Unfortunately there are still a few old fossils , well past there use by date, that resort to this type of coaching. The thing is they don't do it with every pupil , something clicks in their fossilised brain cells and the crabby britches kicks in. There seems to be no rhyme or reason, they just pick someone out that day to be the whipping boy\girl. What can you do . Well the best thing to do is go and get your child and remove them from the class. Not much point in saying much to the coach, as they will have a well rehearsed response to justify their method . Be polite but firm and leave , never to return!!! Cheers Geoffery

Permalink Reply by Rachel on March 7, 2009 at 8:11pm

Hi Geoff Can you please put your reply above on the forum, i moved the discussion to the forum. thanks Rach

And to add Well said Geoff........ Army Yes i see the connection, boot camp with the intimidation, the well rehearsed response is most interesting something i will remember. And YES dont do the class as you said if you havent got a good repore with the coach dont go. Can you please put this reply on the forum, i moved the discussion to the forum. thanks Rach

Permalink Reply by Geoffrey Pannell on March 8, 2009 at 6:08am

How do you do that with out typing the thing again?

Permalink Reply by Rachel on March 8, 2009 at 9:35pm

copy and paste, eg keep this window open, open another window with the forum page reply area highlight what you want to copy by keeping mouse clicked and down and then paste in the new reply window .walla all done

Permalink Reply by Geoffrey Pannell on March 9, 2009 at 2:49am

Do what???? If I open the window the flies get in!! You'll have to show me next time you are here

Permalink Reply by Rachel on March 11, 2009 at 8:37am

hey Geoff, haha if ya open the window the flies get in , holy moley yes will have to show you no worries cheers Rach

Permalink Reply by Amber J. on March 11, 2009 at 7:16am

geoff she is saying high light the text, then right click, click copy, then go to the forums, and in the text box, right click and click paste. hope that helps

Permalink Reply by Geoffrey Pannell on March 12, 2009 at 7:04pm

Thanks Amber , thats what I needed to know , I might be OK with horses but I'm rubbish with computers!!

Permalink Reply by Rachel on March 13, 2009 at 1:23am

yes there is my echo thanks Amber