End Of An Era

This is hard for me to write, No doubt about it. I’m walking around in an insomniatic sate with tears in my eyes and a huge lump in my stomach. I didn’t know it was possible to cry as much as I have been these last few days.

I have received many words of comfort and many hugs, and even tho I do appreciate it, they will not help until I’ve gone trough the entire process. The worst part of all this is to have to wait for the day. The day that Linda and I will be no more. One thing would be loosing her suddenly, but to plan the day your best friend through 11 years is going to die is the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. Our last pictures were taken today.

thursday will be our last day until we meet again in heaven. In heaven where there is no Laminitis, no inflammations, and no bad legs. No old age or bad backs. Heaven doesn’t know what obesity or starvation is. Everything there is perfect. As will my dream horse become. A perfect dream.

This is my grief and farewell

Thank you for everything, My Beloved Asker Linda

Are you slipping away?
This is hard for me to say
I’m barely holding on
So scared of the unknown
I’m still here
Holding you’re hand

Close you’re eyes, I’ll stay beside you
I’m still here, I won’t let them find you
I’ll be lying right here by you’re side
Even though my heart is breaking
Seeing you like this I face it
Don’t be afraid, you’re not alone

From now I walk alone
No one to guide me, I’m completely alone
Was it worth all this pain?
For just a stolen moment in the rain
I’m still here
Holding you’re hand

Close you’re eyes, I’ll stay beside you
I’m still here, I won’t let them find you
I’ll be lying right here by you’re side
Even though my heart is breaking
Seeing you like this I face it
Don’t be afraid, you’re not alone

How can I move on and fly?
When I still don’t know the reason why
You and I, we touch the sky
Someone give me a reason why

Close you’re eyes, I’ll stay beside you
I’m still here, I won’t let them find you
I’ll be lying right here by you’re side
Even though my heart is breaking
Seeing you like this I face it
Don’t be afraid, you’re not alone

So close you’re eyes, I’ll stay beside you
I’m still here, I won’t let them find you
I’ll be lying right here by you’re side
And ven though my heart is breaking
Seeing you like this I face it
Don’t be afraid, you’re not alone…

Still here
by: Christian Valen

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Comment by Michelle Miller on December 1, 2009 at 2:52pm: Hannah,

Read my new poem and blog post, For the Lost (Everyone Should Read This). My first and most beloved horse, friend, and soulmate, has a very severe case of founder. No one told me she had it, and our last vet did a very brutish job of surgery (he made it so much worse). I am now faced with the decision to put her down, and I feel like my life is ending. I enjoy your posts because they make me feel closer to my girl, Cookies.

xxx

Michelle

Comment by Barnmice Admin on October 11, 2009 at 7:32pm: Hannah,
I am so sorry to hear about your horse. This is certainly the hardest thing to do and it takes huge courage to recognize the signs that you can no longer help your friend with her pain and make this impossible decision.

I have enjoyed reading your posts and know how much you adore your horse. You are lucky to have found each other and to have spent so many happy years together. My heart goes out to you both.

Comment by Jackie Cochran on October 11, 2009 at 6:37pm: I am so sorry you had to put your friend down. It is soooo hard to have to do this, to give them the last gift you can give them, the end to the pain. I had to do this several times, and it does not get easier to do it. But the friendships are worth it.