All starts with a dream!

Wow this is my first attempt at blogging of any kind! I felt the need to reach out to other riders and horse lovers alike. My story is sad and I just need to put it out there somewhere. Many of you can probably relate. It goes like this: I bought my dreamhorse 5 years ago. She was a yearling. My first mistake as I am an amature. Things went along ok for the first couple years as I waited for her to get to an age that we could really get going. She is my one and only so waiting was difficult. The time came to get her going and I tried doing everything right but didn't always have the appropriate funds set aside. My 2nd mistake. She wasn't difficult but never moved quite right. Then I got tossed by her on a windy night that I should definitely not have been riding on. I broke my collarbone and was out of work for two months. Then muddled through the next couple years of different trainers and the like until I brought her close to home. I was having difficulty in getting her forward. Had vets, trainers, and friends tell me she was just naughty. But my gut told me there was just something not quite right. It was so insidious. Until finally she threw me again and this time I destroyed my knee. I am still out of work and now working on getting her sellable. I promised my husband that if I got hurt again I would put her up for sale. Did flexions in her hind where she has always shown her uneveness and they came out fine. Which brings me to today. She was found to be heal sore in both front feet. Which scares me to death. I feel like I have done my a horse a great injustice by not finding this sooner. I hope for the best that I can fix this problem with corrective shoeing, and also hope that she will be safe to ride if she isn't in pain! Thanks if you read this as I hope for a happy ending. I now feel better just sharing this burden even if it is with strangers.

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Comment by Jan Jollymour on March 10, 2009 at 5:47pm: Hi, Jennifer:

Barbara and Geoffrey have given you really good advice. Geoffrey's right on when he says "do whatever it takes to sell or give away" the horse - get out from under it, get healthy, and then look for a solid school horse. Young warmbloods are not for everyone, in fact, most amateurs have difficulty with them.

At the same time, don't beat yourself up. We've all been there, and done that, in terms of making mistakes with horses. If we say we haven't, we're really not being honest. There are certainly horses in my background with whom I wish I could have "do-overs", and I'm sure there are horses in my future with more to teach me.

The best you can do is to continue with the dream, but modify your approach. Recognize what you've learned from this experience, and resolve that the next experience will involve more forethought and more professional assistance.

Riding's much too expensive and time-consuming unless you're having fun. It can and should be enjoyable, and changing your focus can make your experience (and your husband's!) more fun and more productive.

Comment by Jennifer Randell on March 7, 2009 at 9:29pm: To Barbara and Geoffrey, Thank you both for your advice and support. You are both right! I have had many horses through the years but never a young warmblood. The problem is my emotional attatchment, but as I know logically that a school horse is really what I need to look for next. I guess I felt if I couldn't get it right with her that there would be no more horses for me in the future. So I staked way too much on Rozelle and it makes the disappointment so much harder on me than it should, That is an unrealistic way to look at things too. Thanks for writing me as it makes my decisions quite a bit clearer for what I need to try and accomplish!

Comment by Geoffrey Pannell on March 7, 2009 at 6:36pm: Hi Jennifer, This is a story that is played out around the world in varied forms on a very regular basis. A lot of people have this dream of horse ownership that is unrealistic, and end up getting hurt. The positive thing with you is that you know you have made a mistake with THIS horse. Do whatever it takes to sell or give away this horse, and start again with something more suited to your experience , and find an accredited coach in your area and start off on the right foot right from the beginning. You made some mistakes that you are not likely to repeat, so move on and you will find the joy in riding that you are looking for. Don't be too hard on yourself , everyone makes mistakes. Cheers Geoffrey

Comment by Barbara F. on March 6, 2009 at 10:32am: Hi Jennifer,

First, let me welcome you to Barnmice and tell you that you are among friends!:)

You have really been through some terrible times!

Do you think this has been going on with your horse's feet for years?

My first thought - and I'm sorry if it sounds negative - but my first thought is that although this is your dream horse in theory, you should probably be working with another type of horse. Everyone falls off, but it sounds like your horse really THROWS you off. These sound like really violent falls.

If I were you, I would get my horse's heels back in order, then send her to a good professional for assessment and training. If you trust the professional and they tell you that this is not the horse for you, because she is not safe, you should move on and don't look back.

Your safety is number one and I just don't feel like you are safe on your mare. I know you feel guilty about your horse's feet, but do you think it really has been going on from the beginning? Also, lots of horses have pain or discomfort and they object without throwing their rider off.

Sorry if this sound a bit brutal, but believe me, there is a much safer horse for you out there. It's time for you to start having fun!

p.s. I would also post this in the Discussion Forum in the Advice section. You'll get lots of good ideas!