I am beginning to wonder about horsemen and horsewomen insisting on "playing" with their horses.
When I started out riding, people did not play with their horses. It was heavily discouraged because it ENCOURAGES DISRESPECT. If you wanted to get your horse fit, you WORKED him properly, schooling him in a well thought out program.
If all a horse does around you is play he starts thinking that he does not have to work at all unless he feels like it.
You have to TRAIN a horse to obey you.
Am I just an old fashioned fuddy-duddy?

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I live in Los Angeles California... :) It's only remote because I live on a big hill with a long driveway and I have no neighbors. If I drive down the street on my way to the freeway to come into the city, then many people are either riding horses or you see horses in their yards. Shadow Hills is a really neat horse community, kind of remote because we have large lots, but about a 20 minute drive to downtown L.A. :) and Dodger stadium....

Misunderstandings happen... but how you handle it and get through it is what makes for good friends.... everyone here is just way cool if you ask me....
And now that I'm reading more about what is actually going on with you and Oliver, I totally agree with Geoffrey and Jackie. Any four year old stallion is soooo likely to turn on you and have his instincts control his behavior and you are going to get hurt with no one there to help you. You will be hurt, pretty badly probably and the horses reputation will be hurt. Or your husband will be so mad he'll take Oliver out and shoot him when he does get home. The situation is what it is... not what you wish it to be.... This is a very unfair match and you have about a 2% chance of winning and that is if you experience a miracle. You have to have a horses respect to teach it anything and you are telling us that you aren't there yet and he's four. The ground work respect could have been started so long ago and maybe then when he was really young and not as strong or as hormonal you MIGHT have had a chance. When you said you were kind of wimpy some warning lights went off. Each time Oliver breaks away from you, it is making him even stronger cause he now KNOWS FOR SURE THAT HE IS CONTROLLING the situation. It empowers him.
I hope you understand that everyone is saying these things out of concern for you and the well being of Oliver.
I did not realize that Oliver is a stallion. Why is that? I have been around a few stallions at the training barn where I boarded and I learned one thing about them very quickly, they are very unpredictable. They don't even let them out to graze with other horses because of what can go bad. And that at least is 1,000 lbs versus 1,000 lbs rather then !,000 lbs versus 120 lbs. And both have hoofs and powerful teeth and mega-powerful kicks. But the stallion is the one with the raging hormones.
I may sound like a simpleton here with how I explain things but I really don't care....I just want you both to be safe with lots of time for really bonding down the road. Please don't wait until that horrible day when you see a different look in Oliver's eyes as he comes charging at you and you realize it's not your Oliver that is charging you, it's just a big stallion that isn't looking at you as his loyal buddy and partner..If you are going to be a herd of two or three, someone is gonna be the Alpha...and right now Oliver has all the benefits going is way.
Do you have a health problem, that you are wimpy? If not, where YOU need to start while Oliver is getting under control, is to do whatever to gain some body strength. You will be so proud of yourself when see yourself progress physically. I'm probably stronger at 58 yrs. old then I've ever been in my life. I love it when I have more stamina then some of my much younger friends. At 53 years old I was running and huffing and puffing to keep up with my 40 year old friend and now at 58, I can more then keep up with her. You will feel so good about yourself!
I hope you will accept this with the caring that is behind it.
Happy Travels thru Life ...It is a Grand Voyage! Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!
Geoffrey, this ain't my first rodeo, this chatting thing. I've been talked to so harshly that I'm used to it... I think people misunderstand me because I think I am such a fantastic writer but I'm not... I'm sorry I confused you. Oliver has been gelded since he was 9 months old... :) Even as a young gelding Steve worked him most of the time until he was 3-4... I just started trying to have a relationship with him and I was working with my 27 year old gelding prior to that who is spunky but definitely not a young mustang, that is for sure. ... this is why I go slow and I am so boring. I have no desire to get hurt buddy.... I have way too much responsibility and desire to live to get killed by a horse.... I only do what I honestly feel is safe to do and not much else....
I really like him Ann. He is my new lifetime horse... I work on myself every day... because that is where it has to start... :) my old steady is actually less of a good horse for me but he's taught me alot and I love him very much and will sponsor him too. :) Oliver and I have 30 years ahead of us and it is all gonna be okay. :) I also learned awhile ago to never take a horses attitude personally. I live by the four agreements in life and horse...

be true to your word
do the best you can every day
never assume
don't take things personally

:)

I think I only apologize now for my writing style that gets me in trouble. :)

My horse was a little pushy this morning so he did laps before breakfast....
Hi Jackie,

I agree with you that people should not "play" with their horses. But that doesn't mean training can't be interesting for them. I show my Arab mare so we do alot of arena work. But I mix it up with trail class obstacles and reining patterns. i also take her out on trail rides or some times just brush her and let her graze. She enjoys the challenges and the variety.

All of this is training. I just try to make it more fun for both of us.

Adrienne
www.ridingoverthehill.com
Oh I agree, I've owned mostly Arabs & part Arabs. Since I'm limited to ring riding it can be quite a challenge to keep the Arab and part Arab mares I ride now interested and responsive.
I love to hear people keeping up the tradition that Arabs should be able to do several different things. I remeber the old "Most Versatile" rewards being sought after. Stallion owners used to LOVE boasting about their stallion winning the versitility category in shows, since this showed their trainability and endurance. mar
We played today. After a bit of in-hand training we introduced the wee lad and his sister to a jolly ball. Then we introduced them to a pilates ball... fun stuff! It actually was training of a sort - we are introducing them to as many things as possible as part of desensitizing them. Flags and umbrellas were part of the lesson today too... but we hoped that the balls would be just plain fun. They spooked a bit when the balls first rolled across the arena... but then their curiosity got the best of them and they started rolling the balls around. Yay! Another 'monster' conquered! Eventually they were ignoring the balls unless we threw or kicked them so that they were moving... apparently the horses felt that we are in need of exercise (they are probably quite right).

By the end, we played... and the horses just wondered about their crazy humans! ;)

My horse bores easily (so do I), so we like to vary his work too. Versatility is one of the things that drew me to Canadian Horses... I am hoping that one day I will be able to drive my horse, as well as ride him in a variety of disciplines.
Cash and I play with an exercise ball sometimes. I suppose it's about the size of a pilates ball. It's not really his thing but will push it around sometimes when I try to get him to. he's been known to put his legs/feet on it so that it's rolling around underneath his feet and that kinda scares me sometimes cause it looks like he's going to loose his balance. He never has but it doesn't look good. He likes to do this sometimes too when I'm riding him and I make him stop so we don't end up falling in a mess. I'd like to get one of the really big balls but they are a bit pricey for me. Lots of fun with versatility.
I was a little nervous about introducing the exercise ball too... I kept thinking "What if he trips on it? What if it rolls under him and he falls? What if it breaks?" etcetcetc. I am such a worrier when it comes to my critter babies! ;) I do know people who use them in the paddocks, but we plan to use the balls for supervised play in the arena only.

In the end he had fun and I'm glad that we tried it.. He did roll it with his feet sometimes, but he seems to be far more coordinated than I am! *lol* He was so funny in the beginning when he'd hop around the ball snorting and poking at it. I wanted one of the big balls too, but they are quite a bit more expensive, and his buddies "kill" even the jolly balls, so I don't want to spend too much on something that will be flattened in a matter of minutes! So far the pilates ball has survived. Woo! The most entertaining moment was when he stepped on the jolly ball and air came out of the hole in the ball (the one meant to allow air in and out)... the puff of air squirted him in the nose and made him jump, snort, shake his head... and pounce on the ball again!

He made me see another true benefit of playing with your horse... they are great comedians, and laughter is healthy! :)
I've seen horses have great fun with those big exercise balls. I think it helps to introduce them before horses get scared of things. My horse just thinks I'm trying to kill him with it and runs away as fast as he can, snorting like a dragon!
I am pretty sure the big balls are either on sale or permanently reduced to $50. A little better then they were but still pricey. But if they are sturdy enough to hold up under quite a bit of horse play they aren't gonna be cheap material! I'm debating in my own head for us??? Maybe I'll pick one up at the Parelli Celebration in Florida next month and at least save the shipping too.
Laughter is healthy! Do you ever notice that you can relax some horses when they are nervous about something by laughing? My horse also loves being told he is brave when we are facing something he's unsure of. Probably responding to the tone in my voice more then the actual word....maybe not ...they do learn other words.
Don't ya just love horsen around?!
I agree Shirley... laughter seems to be good for both us and our horses! My boyfriend noticed how much my horse responds to my moods... when I am confident or I take something with humour, my horse relaxes immensely. When I get goofy and play, he gets goofy. He is a very sensitive horse, and since he is still just a baby he could get a little nervous around scary new things. Since I have learned to keep my cool and make nothing of it, my horse has come a long way and adapts far more quickly. We have taught one another to be confident! :)
My horse also reacts to being told that he is being brave and has done well. He wants to please, and when he can tell that I am happy with him for what he has done, he is so proud. His whole body carriage changes. It's very cute! It's nice when a horse is happy that you're happy, isn't it?!
Have fun playing and laughing with your horse! :)

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