I am beginning to wonder about horsemen and horsewomen insisting on "playing" with their horses.
When I started out riding, people did not play with their horses. It was heavily discouraged because it ENCOURAGES DISRESPECT. If you wanted to get your horse fit, you WORKED him properly, schooling him in a well thought out program.
If all a horse does around you is play he starts thinking that he does not have to work at all unless he feels like it.
You have to TRAIN a horse to obey you.
Am I just an old fashioned fuddy-duddy?

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I think one of the funniest things I heard Pat Parelli say was when he talks about smiling with all four cheeks when you ride your horse! :-D
Oliver took it in his teeth and shredded the big ball..... within 2 hours of his $69.99 birthday present it was all over the arena.... poor ball... :)
Wow, you might as well have given him a wrapped empty box! Just like a kid!
I don't consider that a suggestion, just a joke.
I've been trying to write down some of Pats great little sayings. I love his personality~~~ except when he does make negative remarks about other approaches. Generally I think that does more harm then good. I wonder which came first the bird or the egg. Pat being critical of others sometimes or them being critical of him? Either way I'm thankful for all his little tips and others too of course. He has just been the one to fill "MY" needs the most. I say my needs cause I think as long as someone treated Cash with respect and let him have his dignity, he'd have been a really good boy by the time I got him. Still needs those miles they can only get by useing the gas.
Oliver sticks his chest out and gets all prancy when he's been told that he is good.... I see him go out of his way to try and figure out what I want..... he tries this, then this... it is really awesome to see them even care... but ditto what Ferrous said.. her horse and Oliver seem very similar. :)
Cash loves to hear "EXCELLENT" too. That's what my riding instuctor used to say when all was going great.
One time I made up a game.... and it was to give Oliver his bucket, but in the stall next to him, not the one he was in.... I had the grain with me, but I didn't let him come in, but instead pushed him out.... he was kinda tossin his head, trying to come in to me, but I said no... eventually, I got him outside of his stall, and turned him into the one next door, waited for him to come to his bucket and then I dropped in the grain... I started going, woohoo Oliver, that is so cool!! You got it, yay!!... he got so goofed up and proud of himself that he lifted the bucket up, and dropped out all the grain..... I told him, whoops, let's do it again.... so I brought him back over to the one side, where he is pushing his nose on me to get at the grain.. and showed him again, no Oliver, go away and I will give it to you.... and so he went around the other side... I gave him the grain and then I whispered good boy... so he wouldn't knock it all out again... I love seeing horses get happy and confident and proud of themselves.. it totally makes my day. :)
Yes, that is what my boy is like. My boyfriend jokes that you can see smoke coming out of my horse's ears when he is trying to figure out what I am asking. His ears flop out to the side and he gets a "Shh, I'm thinking" look on his face... it`s kind of like seeing the little clock on your computer screen when your computer is working on something. *lol*

I do love that "I did good" prance. :)

Jennifer... don't worry about taking your time. I'm "slow" too (and what some think is ridiculously cautious). I want my wee lad to be very well prepared for the road ahead, and I want us to have many years of fun together, so I have no plan of stressing him too soon, physically or mentally. He is a slow maturing breed, and as an individual, at two he is still quite immature (a baby really). While a lot of people I know have their horses backed at two and jumping at three... I'm taking my time and shifting my training schedule to a year or two behind that. It's what works for me. In the meantime it's LOTS of groundwork. It's the quality of the steps, and the enjoyment of them, that is important... not how fast you take them. Enjoy the journey (speed-bumps and all)!

I also agree that photos/video are an amazing tool. My boyfriend often takes video when I am working with horses (riding or groundwork). When you are actually doing the work, you are busy, and you may overlook subtle changes of body position. When you can look at video afterward it allows you to see little things that you can tweak (and sometimes big things... I'm amazed at the things that I don't notice when I am on a horse... especially as I get tired!). Even the video mode of a digital still camera is good enough... it's what we use the most.
Well just now I took Fiona's advice and I made sure I was pushing him with my correct body part.... had to really make sure... OH GAWD, I hate seeing pics and videos of myself..... unless I look fabulous, LOL....

One thing I love about my trainer is that I had no riding experience before I met him... or groundwork, so I try and simulate him as much as possible....and I think he has taught me correctly, if nothing else... doesn't mean I learned it all, but the instruction was right on... Oliver is backed and he does go on long trailrides with Steve but I know he is in excellent hands.... with me though, I think it's good for him to go slow.... it's a different approach that gives him time to think.... he licks and chews right away when he gets it..

Most of the people that trailride around here... maybe they are riding a five year old, but they've been riding for a zillion years... where for me and Oliver... shoot, if he's 8 and we are out on the trails isn't that right when a horse gets really good anyway??? maybe? LOL... he's only 4 for petesakes... the rest of it is kinnygarden till he gets out in the big world.... everyone I know or have heard about in my small horsey town, and unfortunately, there are tons of disasters.... like you might go to a pool party and someone is in a sling or a body brace or they are telling a story of how their horse just died out on the trail from a freak accident... no way.... my job is to keep him safe and to me, if I can't handle that and promise him he is safe with me, what the heck are we going anywhere for???? in four years I've practiced not jumping out of the arena when he comes near me because I"M the scaredy cat... :) so I appreciate people that go slow... we could talk about that and I'd never be bored... :) I do not like to pushed into anything that scares me and I can't imagine a horse liking that either....

I bought a really tiny little camera that takes videos.. :) downloading is a bitch though. In fact, I put up a really long and boring one on here somewhere of my first or second weekend of me and Oliver... and how I was trying Chris' techniques... :) and I think we've been doing that for about 5 months now.... horses are slow... I just get that.... and I think consistency will make us both confident... :)
Hehe. Your description of pool parties in your area made me think of the Emergency Room at our local hospital (also in a horsey area). Lots of riders pass through their doors. One night I was arriving after an airborne moment followed by an abrupt landing, and I was still in my riding gear... as we arrived another girl was being wheeled out, still in her riding gear. My boyfriend thought it was funny that at the same moment she and I gave each other a nod, grin, and thumbs up (although in pain, we had both survived our obviously 'exciting' rides).

I was at Emerg that night because I didn't listen to my instincts. That evening the horse was being a bit skittish (horses have moods too), and I was very tired near the end of a challenging lesson. My instincts said that I was done and should get off, but I didn't want to seem like a 'wuss', and there were only a few minutes left of the lesson, blah blah blah. (silly 'brain chatter'). Something moved outside, the mare spun ("stayed on, whew")... but as she spun, her hoof hit the wall which scared her more and she bolted ("oh, I'm flying... this is going to hurt... OW!"). If I wasn't tired, would I have stayed on? Probably, but who knows? If I had listened to my instincts and had gotten off when I felt that I should have, would I have avoided a fall? Definitely. The moral is, trust your gut. It's usually right!

You have faith that if you take it slow and steady you will get to where you want to be... trust that instinct. Now you and Oliver just need to learn to communicate better. It will be hard work, and you will have moments of sheer frustration. Just take heart in the fact that everyone who works with a youngster faces those moments and hard work. You do have the support of a trainer that you trust, and with every ride he is laying the groundwork so that once you find your confidence, and you and Oliver learn to be in sync during riding, Oliver will have already "done it all" and you can just get down to enjoying your rides. Like you said - Oliver is still in kindergarten. Think about how many hours kids spend in school with their teachers... good teachers help parents (even 'horse mommies') prepare youngsters for the 'big scary world'.

Just remember the importance of confidence... once you have confidence in yourself, then your horse can have confidence in you.
My trainer was riding Oliver once bareback.. he was pretty young at the time and he reared up... Steve totally loosened up, started laughing outloud.... "whatcha doin that for boy? You are okay...." and I never saw him do it again... :)
I guess it's easy for someone with Steve's confidence to do that - it certainly works! I think horses will take themselves terribly seriously sometimes if we let them. It does us all good to loosen up and get over ourselves!

By the way, just to reassure you that I may talk the talk but walkin' the talk is a different matter - I lunged my friend's horse last evening. She went beautifully on the left rein, but could I get her to go out to lunge on the right rein? Not a chance. She just went round me in tiny circles swinging her quarters away and pivoting on her inside foreleg! I KNEW exactly what I was doing wrong - and yes it was me causing it - but I couldn't get my body to comply!! I have had this problem before so I know it was me - in fact in one of Chris's clinics I ended up having a total meltdown in the middle of the arena because this lovely kind mare was doing exactly what my body was telling her but that was not what my mind wanted her to do! When I started to cry, she came in closer and stood with me as if to say 'don't worry'. That made me sob all the harder!

Anyway, last night I didn't cry. I've learned to let go of the need to be perfect and I just went 'oh well, try again another time'!

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