In the video "Linda Parelli shows how to effectivly hit with the snap" I commented on the horses use of what I call "calming signals". Since there were some interesst in what I wrote I thougth we could talk about it in this forum thread.

I wrote (so I don't have to repeat myself):

Cartoonracher wrote: "When the young woman is trying to back her horse away (under the big tree), he's obviously confused and "over" the whole lesson. He's tuning her out because nothing he's done has been rewarded. It's nothing but non-stop horse-irritating."

I reacted especially to that scene, too. At first the girl is trying to back the horse when he is in front of the tree. Horses don't have good depth perception, especially backwards, so it seems he is asked to back into the tree, something he feels he can't.

After this the horse is seemingly tuning her out, something Linda claims is disrespectful. The sad thing about it is that the horse is NOT tuning her out, the horse is communicating with horse body language that he is not wanting any conflict. I talk about this in my body language clinics a lot, because not many people seems to be aware of the horses
"calming signals".


Horses use these signals when they feel pressured and wants to let the person understand that they perceive them as agitated/aggressive, but that the person can calm down, because they do not pose any threat to them.

Some of the comments here has been about the horse arching away and trying to turn away from the people. What the horse is trying to do is to signal that he's NOT a threat, and by that it's trying to get the person to not be so aggressive. This is the very opposite of disrespect!

The worst thing about the horses calming signals is that it provokes people. People feel ignored and that is for a human a big provocation. Especially when they have been taught that this is a disrespectful sign from the horse! It's a bit off topic here, but I mention it because it's part of the problem with the clip; not only is she using a horrible technique, she is also gravely misreading the horse!

Even a mild correction would have been wrong when the horse is signaling "lets just have peace - I don't wish to fight with you"… if a horse gives you that message and you correct it you are basically telling it "I don't want peace - and I do want to have a fight".

Like I said, it's off topic, but if someone wants me to explain more about these signals I can, we could always make a separate discussion about it.


The horses calming signals is something I haven't written about before although I talk about this in my clinics. There are a couple of reasons for that: one, I don't know how to begin writing about it - in a clinic it comes naturally when a horse displays the signals - and also because I don't know how much people knows about this already. In Scandinavia, where I live and teach, I know that my students says that this is news to them, but for all I know this is common knowledge in Canada :)

Another big reason is that what I am talking about goes against what most trainers believe in, and rocks the foundation of what many people consider natural horsemanship. I think...
Last, but not least; it is a big topic... so to write about it is a big task, but I will do so if I see that people truly are interessted in what I am talking about :)

That is why I want this to be in a discussion form, to get a grasp of what you know about this already, and also to be able to show some video clips to show you what I am talking about.

To not make this text too long I think it's a good idea if I write seperate posts about the different signals. That way I can add on information as I see what people have questions about :)

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Yes, I have noticed this too and it's a great feeling. On the other hand when I'm tense and find myself holding my breath, my horse gets tense too. Those moments when I relax and Cash relaxes too are very special and a goal for me is to get more of those moments for us.This will need a whole new turn-over for me cause I tend to be a tense person. Needing to relax for Cash has made me seek ways of loosening up. Just another way horses have been beneficial to me. Yet when I'm dealing with a horse that is new to me and they seem to be misbehaving when they are actually nervous or afraid, my gentle nature and patience seem to help them. My gentle nature & patience seems to go much further with horses then humans. Horses don't seem to plan on being a jerk. JMO
I was rubbing one of my girls down the other day and she sighed.. That was when I knew.. "Oh yes, we have arrived". Haha:) I know we still have a long way to go and a long life ahead of us, but when she sighed like that, along with some other awesome stuff, I knew we'd "turned a corner" :)
I was wondering the same thing!!! I hope she didn't get a "time out" for posting that video!! :o/

Does she have her own "group" in here? I'd join it if the discussions are like this thread.
You know, a thought occurred to me as I was thinking about our discussion. We are often talking about whether the horse trusts us or how much, etc. and of course their level of trust is not all or nothing they might trust us in one situation but not so sure when trying something else. Then it occurred to me, that it works both ways. I mean do we trust our horse? These guys read our minds, at least I know my guy does, if I am not quite trusting that he's going to relax as much as I'd like say when saddling or whatever we are working on today, he knows that. So my tiny little insecure thought gets into his brain, am I prepared to confidently work with him till we get things done, is part of why he doesn't totally trust me, that little niggling uncertainty in my mind. We have made progress, he trusts me far more than a year ago, but is that just because we have worked through stuff , and he found out it's not too bad with me, or because I have more trust in him now, or because I have a more trust in my ability to handle his little foibles?
I think the answer is Yes, to all your questions. Yes, we need to trust our horses in order for them to trust us. Yes, each situtation has a different level of trust, for us and them, those levels will grow. Yes, if you have a little doubt, your horse WILL sense it. My personal opinion is that they can't really tell the difference between angst, a little doubt/confusion and fear. So what we're calling angst/doubt/confusion they think is fear...and if you're afraid, you are not a prey animal...then maybe they, as a prey animal, better be VERY aware of what's going on around them. They are looking around for something to be afraid of and not looking to you/trusting you. A good friend, and horse person, in Australia told me to be very confident, even if I don't feel confident at the time I should act confident. Think positive thoughts, have a plan already in mind, as in before you go out to saddle, go over in your mind the saddling 'procedure'. Your horse standing calmly while being brushed, your horse calmly accepting the pad, calmly accepting the saddle and calmly being cinched up. I don't know your saddling procedure, so let me say let him sniff the pad before you even attempt to put it on his back, same with the saddle. I let Rip smell everything first, the brush, the pad, the saddle, the headstall...everything. I hesitate to call it visualization, because it really isn't, it's preparing you/calming you/dispelling any doubts so that when you approach the horse you are calm and confident about what you are about to do. I've tried this and even when Rip was less than cooperative, it helped keep me calm, which in turn calmed him because I, had more trust in my ability to handle his little foibles, to use your words. Hope I haven't totally confused you.
about 2 years ago my trainer stated, "you don't trust him and he knows it".... so I discontinued my lessons, got my Ponyboy book, started reading it to oliver... spent hours and hours and hours with him just hanging out practicing trust exercises for both of us..... and I know in my heart that that horse wants me to trust him..... and he deserves it.. by learning his language I see how hard he tries..... they want to be our friends... trusting him was the best thing I did for myself.... I mean honestly trusting him..... and it took me about 2 years..... some things I don't do well so we have a TON of work to do... but I think what I did for myself was learn enough about his personality that if we had a glitch it wasn't to be taken personally.... on a very basic level he and I are super good friends now.... I'm so glad I took the time.... because for 4 years prior I rode a horse I didn't trust and he didn't trust me and every time I came back from the ride I was glad it was over... instead of looking forward to it..... what a crappy way to learn... :)


The horse people told me I was crazy to love.... look at his sweet sweet face...


this is my trainer, steve, riding Oliver how I dream to... and what I am going to do next.. bareback or nothing... :) and how I am going to start is just to sit there...... for as long as it takes to show him that I am ready to trust him.....
Great pics, Jennifer! Ahhhhh...my dream too :o)
I just watched Ellen awesome video on the chair game..... here I've been wondering how I am gonna get up on this big horseomine cuz he's pretty tall.... I know he will nibble on the chair though so once we get past that I can move it all around and he can catch me for scratches and then I'll be up on him, woohoo!! Thanks Ellen!!
I LOVE your pictures! He is such a very, very handsome boy! :)
Which PonyBoy book did you get?? I want to find me a copy now..
Hello Meghan.... I'm actually not finished reading them all because I took a hiatis from reading and went outside to get to know Oliver..... but the answer is:

Horse Follow Closely;
a Horse is a Horse....

those are two separate books.

He is about relationship training as is Ellen.. you can tell, she has a connection to horses and she is discussing the emotional side.... which is a wonderful experience for all of us..... :)
Marlene, do I relate to this! I have a wonderful relationship with my horse from the ground but I'm sure my not trusting him on the trail is causing him to not trust me either when we are out in unfamilia territory.
I'd guess you are right in all of your questions. Different situations would produce different answers to your quesitons. Wouldn't they?
I've been taking Cash to a state park to get used to trails. I'm concerned he might get scared and I could loose him. In a way I'm making my own greatest fear a reality. He senses I'm worried and apprehensive. He doesn't know why but figures I 'must' have a good reason so then he gets tense and more cautious. We were getting done at the park and walking back to the trailer when the brush narrowed a little. A couple little birds were in the brush and made them rustle a little. I was on the other side of him from the brush. He jerked like he wanted to run but there I was so he tried to stop and in the process his legs just sort of buckled under him. He didn't fall but it was scarey for both of us.I was sure glad I wasn't on him. So I'm taking that as a sign that we need more playtime out and about in nature. So, we'll enjoy that till it feels easier. Right now we walk around and I lunge him all over near the shrubs. Hopefully this will build our confidence. Sometimes I feel like I'[m over my head but I like that we are doing this together. The lady I take lessons from is very experienced so she will help me not do anything too dumb to cause trouble.
Think fun and get fun...think fear and get fear.
Open to suggestions.

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