Not so much to do with body language per-se.. But I've come to value ya'll's opinion and wanted to know your thoughts on this:
I was giving Kai scratches the other day on both sides of her neck. She usually loves it, but has been showing more attitude lately. Seems like she's tried to push me around.
Anyways, as I was scratching her, she just reached over quickly and bit my arm! It didn't hurt, but it may have been because I was so surprised--She has never nipped at me before.
I had been calmly looking for any signals that she may had been uncomfortable, upset, enjoying herself, etc. but she kept a pretty neutral demeanor (I must have missed something?).
Once she bit, I didn't panick, it didn't scare me, but it did surprise me. I didn't jerk back, scream, nothing. I said "NO" very firmly and stepped aggressively toward her, but only did that for a second or two. She was surprised that I reacted like that and swiveled her body around very quickly (fled), but immediately came back very close to me, put her head down a little lower than waste-level, and seemed to have a "I'm sorry I was nasty.." attitude after that. As soon as she fled, I started acting like nothing ever happened.
She seems to be less snyde to us both now, so I'm wondering if it might've started registering that things like that won't be tolerated?? She still has a bit of an attitude of "I don't have to if I don't want to"..
Did I handle that properly, and what can I do to soften up her thoughts and whatnot toward us?
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That was my suspicion, that silly girl! It was either that, or she just plain out doesn't like me. Haha:) She has only been getting sassy with me since she started feeling that her "dominance" was being challenged.. And you've probably read what Ellen was saying about there being a difference between dominant and being a leader--Yeah, Kai's NOT a leader! And she doesn't like it when she feels like someone else IS! I just have no clue how to get her to feel less of a need to act dominant??
That is REALLY awesome though--I didn't think about her coming back to me like that as being "join-up"!! WOW! What exactly do you think/feel classifies an event as a "join-up", if I may ask? Is it when they voluntarily come to spend time with you with no aids? That really is exciting though--Kai's always been a sweet horse but definitely has some dominance lust. Haha:)
Thinking back on it, I think I used my "No-No Noise", not the word "no".. My noise is basically a pronounced, sharp and quick "AH AH".. Hopefully that's acceptible in the horse world? :) That is a good thought though.. I have definitely used the word "no" in other less important (to me) circumstances.. But I can see how even that could be confusing.. I'm glad you said it:)
No, unfortunately, I didn't think to reward her afterward. I think I was too busy trying to figure out what caused her to bite me. I should have tried harder to stay in the moment, perhaps?
Good stuff, Frank--Thank you so much for your input!!
Megan,
You're very welcome!
Paraphrasing Monty Roberts, "Join-Up happens when a horse decides to be with you because he wants to; not because he has to. Needless to say, there's much more to it than that! For a much better treatment than I can ever give it, you might consider getting his book, "From My Hands To Yours". There is an extensive chapter on Join-Up, with clear illustrations of this, and other of his concepts.
Is Oliver the nipper?:) Spunky boy! I did read something in Linda Tellington's stuff that may or may not help--She said that with mouthy horses, it's good to mess with their muzzles a lot when they try to bite and stuff.. Obviously feel out what's safe for you--You know your boys:) But she was saying that, since their attempt to spook you off or get you away doesn't work but ends up getting their mouth messed with, they figure out that biting is obsolete..
My girls aren't very mouthy.. Donoma used to act like she was going to bite a lot, but she was usually just bluffing because she was nervous. Kai has NEVER even TRIED to nip before, so man, that caught me off guard!! That was part of why I didn't think putting my hands on her mouth would help.. Frank mentioned that he thought she was probably testing me, and I felt the same way in the moment.. Glad to know I didn't just needlessly scare the crap out of her. Haha:)
How are your boys doing!?
That is so cool... That would be SO MUCH FUN.. I watched a Hempfling DVD the other day where a horse (not sure if it was his) was running behind and with him like a devoted pooch.. Whenever Klaus stopped, horsey stopped. Whenever Klaus turned, paused, whatever.. Horsey followed suit! I'm jealous of ya'll! Haha! We'll get there some day, hopefully not far off:) How long did you say you've had Oliver?
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