How has getting a little older changed your attitude about riding - and life?

How has everyone changed in their outlook as they've gotten a bit older? In particular, are you braver? More fearful? More tolerant? Less tolerant? Do you feel stronger or weaker physically and in terms of how you deal with people and issues?

I am more inclined to take risks. Not safety risks, but just in doing things and saying things that I would never have said or done when I was younger. I am also better at speaking up on my own behalf and I have tried very hard to get toxic people out of my life.

I also view my riding differently and completely march to my own drummer now, doing what I want with no guilt.

One thing that I haven't been able to change is my long memory and I still tend to be unable to move past some stuff that happened years ago. For example, if someone was horrible to me years ago, I still can't stand them years later and I still can't be nice. Is anyone else like that or is it just me??

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Annette Willson on April 26, 2009 at 11:44pm

I read a book "How would Love Respond"Kurek Ashley it changed my life

Permalink Reply by Dorothy McDonall on April 27, 2009 at 10:25am

I love books that do that ...

Permalink Reply by Annette Willson on April 26, 2009 at 8:29pm

I have to work so much harder with my core abdominal to be safe

Permalink Reply by Lee Kelly on April 27, 2009 at 4:10pm

I have to agree with Chris, I too ride for fun, exercise, relaxation and the feeling of joy you get with your equine friend. I do not bounce as well and therefore tend to ride safer, no getting on wild/young/green horses. I also agree that with age comes the wisdom to avoid the people that stress you and make you unhappy. I enjoy the sights, smells and sounds at the barn, from mucking stalls to a wonderful ride where you and your horse are true partners. I also try to contribute to the horses whenever possible, taking time to groom, or help handle the young ones, mucking stalls, helping the kids that take lessons. It is alot of fun, even got to help deliver a foal 2 years ago.

Permalink Reply by Nancy McHardy on April 27, 2009 at 10:54pm

Hi Barbara, I have tried to save energy for the good things in life and learned to forget about the nasty things that were done. There is one thing that helps me do this and that is seeing that those people have things happen back to them and it is like a payback, and I didn't have to waste any time or thoughts on them. When I start thinking about old stuff, I go to my horses and they remind me that we can just be in the moment, as they are. They remind me how wonderful it is just to be near them and play and work with them. When I am with my horses, I forget about the old stuff and just know that I have to start over again. I had the 60 acre farm with an arena before, I taught lessons and did some boarding and loved every minute. Now I have to start over and I have a little 5.5 acre piece of heaven with a 2 stall barn. My plans are to build an arena and house there and have to do things on a smaller scale. If I think too much about the past, the future won't happen. I always think there is a reason for things, maybe those awful things are a test to make us stronger. Won't they be surprised when we tell them it doesn't matter any more? I have certainly learned what I don't want, and this late in age, I have learned that I can't waste any more time and will focus on what I do want. Think about the good things and the good things will happen. You don't have to be nice to anyone, if you don't want to. You just don't have to be anything to them. Just like they are not there, and pretty soon, they won't matter enough to even spend an ounce of energy thinking about being nice or not. Kind of like a "Whatever" attitude. I just tell myself I let them go, they are who they are, I can't change them, I am not going to expend energy thinking about them, they are dust under my feet. And move on.... all the best to you, enjoy being who you are and let them go.

Permalink Reply by Barbara F. on April 27, 2009 at 11:42pm

Thanks Nancy,
I completely agree about saving my energy for the good things in life.
By the way, my very long memory ensures that I never forget a kindness, so thank goodness it works both ways! :)

Permalink Reply by Jenny Hiscox on April 28, 2009 at 8:31am

I have so enjoyed reading all this discussion, and totally agree with all! ... Except the part about being more cautious because we don't bounce so well. I now have a feeling that my time has come to refuse to give in to fear. Which is NOT to say that I am crazy-brave, or don't listen to my inner voice when it says "don't", or my horse if she says "it's too much." I never did jump more than 3 feet, in fact jumping 3 feet is a major exercise in facing my fear! I've always wanted to try eventing, but reading about Kingpin last weekend is making me back off.

People and positive mentality: I too have come a long way in this reguard, and had a long way to come. I am doing very well for the most part, but find I have trouble if someone does anything bad that affects my animals. Then I have such fight not to descend into the dark hell of going over and over the pain and anger of the event, sometimes I just can't resist.

I also had a farm, taught riding and boarded a couple of horses - 136 beautiful acres - and lost everything just 5 years ago. I don't even own a home now, and am in the gang-war-and-flu zone of Mexico, just trying to hang on. I have to board my horse, which can be very difficult when the twenty-something know-it-alls try to lord it over me, but it can also be very lovely having friends to ride with and not having all the responsibility for the barn. The only thing that REALLY matters is that I still have the mare who is the love and the light of my life (don't let my sons read that!)

Riding is totally about the relationship with my horse, about teaching her things and letting her teach me things, sometimes about just getting out and relaxing together (sitting on her back while we saunter around the neighborhood sampling all the different grass), and sometimes about stretching our comfort zone together.

Permalink Reply by Barbara F. on April 28, 2009 at 8:40am

Jenny, that's very upsetting to hear that you are in the gang war and flu zone! Both have been making headline news! Is that northern Mexico?

I am also much braver. Not necessarily about safety stuff, although I think I am somewhat braver than when I was younger, but in every other area of life, I am much braver and simply take action on my ideas and have removed the word "can't" from my vocabulary. I have no time to be "hemming and hawing"!:)

Permalink Reply by Jenny Hiscox on April 28, 2009 at 10:33am

Yes, I'm in Torreon, Coahuila state. It's crazy here, like the wild west!

Permalink Reply by Jenny Hiscox on April 28, 2009 at 10:34am

Oh I meant to say, yes it's in the north.

Permalink Reply by Nancy McHardy on April 28, 2009 at 10:41pm

Hi Jenny, I feel for you at losing your farm. It is good you have your mare, she will save you and point you in the right direction, I believe our horses really know what is going on in our heads. Maybe they see our emotions, or they just sense them. I agree with Barbara about remembering all the kindnesses that have come our way. I was feeling a little lonely after coming home from the barn every evening, I had a cat and dog who would greet me, then they both died, a year apart. Just yesterday, I bought a kitten. I took her to the barn to meet Olive and she was afraid of the kitten. The curiosity got the better of her and she put her nose and felt her fur and seemed to like it. Now I have a little kitten friend who is sitting on my lap now, so when I leave the barn, there is still some animal company at home. Maybe I am going to be the crazy lady on the block, but I do enjoy the company of my pets more than some people !! Thanks Barbara for your comments on remembering the good things. That is what life is about, making good memories !
Jenny, I hope you stay clear of that flu.

Permalink Reply by Carol on April 28, 2009 at 11:24am

I only started to ride at 40 so I don't have the courage that some people had when they rode at a younger age.
I always say to my trainer "What I lack in courage though I make up for with tenacity".
I am constantly working on trying to change some of my bad riding habits and fortunately my trainer seems to understand exactly how far she can push me.
I had a set back a number of years ago - I got bucked off and managed to fracture my SI. I constantly have to work on developing good mental riding images so that I can keep on riding - that plus chiro and message!
Now just to increase the challenge so myself, I'm in the process of starting a young stallion - with the help of a number of young riders.