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Comment by Jennifer Lamm on November 2, 2009 at 10:51am

Coopersmom, I taught Oliver to come to me when I call him.... I remember when my barn buddy was here and she said, "don't do that, that is a stupid game".. thankfully she isn't here anymore and I decided I get to do what I want to do with MY horse dangit!! what an exhilirating feeling.... Oliver can be munching on hay and I can get him to come to me...... wherever I am in my medium sized pasture.... somehow you realize the friendship with the horse means more than all the other folks you encounter... teach him to come to you.... and be happy with every accomplishment you make with your horse..... the exhaustion hopefully won't get you down.....

I quit smoking, drinking, started taking my vitamins, minerals, eating much better, and all for a mustang... that is 4 years old... I better have the energy and the stamina for Oliver... so we can ride ride ride. :) Hugs girl.... thank you for sharing your inspirational story.

Comment by Jennifer Lamm on November 2, 2009 at 10:44am

When I got my horses I was surrounded by seasoned people.... either on the chatrooms I belonged to, or the girls I lived near, or most specifically my barn buddy whom I shared a horse with and tried to ride with.... I think my lack of experience, my fear of horses, (which I didn't realize I even had) and my trying to keep up with the joneses made me fall into a despair.... plus my barn buddy turned out to just be in it for herself and ditched me and took the horse I bought...... I couldn't believe how awful having horses felt.... how insecure and fearful I felt and how guilty I felt when Toby and Oliver looked at me, like... "why don't you ride, why are you such a mess of a horse girl?" For five years I think having horses depressed me more than anything... plus I got in a tiff with my trainer who I adore and then I cried about that.... how can your passion wreck your life???? Every single morning I woke up, I had a pit in my stomach and I'd sit at the computer and go on line and read of other people rides, see photos of blue ribbon accomplishments and I'd feel sorry for my horses that they were stuck with me.... I was even on another chat room where I was getting belittled for my fears and insecurities.... I could not have felt more like crap..... the only thing I knew was this.... Shit man, I feed these horses, I go to work for these horses, I have a lady renting out a room in my house to afford these horses, I'm mucking my heart out, I've spent over $20,000 on a trainer in the last 5 years, I AM NOT GIVING UP BEFORE IT GETS FUN!! I am not going to let my passion be my depression.... I do not think I am clinically diagnosed as a depressed person like some of my friends here, so I'm sorry if I can't understand completely what you go through on a regular basis, but I know that taking care of myself is what helped me.... I quit training with my trainer, I got off the belittleing chatroom, and I started hanging out with Toby and Oliver..... no matter what, we did what I could do..... even if it was finding carrots in their feeders and being close to them... smelling them, watching them..... and you know what happened??? they started coming up to me whenever I was around, catching me... Oliver started nickering to me in a "oh I'm so glad you are here" nicker...... and I pushed through my depression.... until finally I WANTED to hang out with my horses instead of hiding in my house out of despair, fear, intimidation, depression.. all the crap that I do not let into my life on a normal basis..... and about 4 months ago, I snapped out of it..... thankfullly.... I think getting rid of them, as I threatened to do a few times, would have compounded my failures.... I can't wait to ride by the homies that made fun of me, on my awesome mustang some day.... I know that is spiteful but I still want to do it... :)

Comment by Marti Langley on November 1, 2009 at 10:22pm

Hi, Stacey, what specifically helps you with your depressions? Is it an ongoing thing, or does it come and go. The last one I had I just got out of and it lasted a month. My doc calls it meloncholic depression. They usually last a month and I have about 3 a year. Hopefully I will be getting better with the increase in my meds. I feel great today and even went on a trail ride with my riding buddy. I get overwhelmed if I have more than one horse. I have had my mare, Maggie, for 1 year tomorrow. My hubby said it seems like she has been here forever. I have owned many horses over the years, but she is my altime favorite. Take care, and hopefully you will be able to have a horse in your life soon.

Comment by Stacey Phillips on November 1, 2009 at 8:38pm

Just saying hi.. I've been battling depression for almost a decade. Sadly, I had to sell all (4) of my horses two years ago when I moved to Toronto. At this point I'm trying to find a way I can have horses in my life again, though I am not in a position to be an owner again at this point.

Comment by Marti Langley on October 31, 2009 at 1:57pm

Coopersmom, I have acted impulsively and sold horses, thinking that would help my anxiety or depression. It is still there when the horse is gone. Chucking it all is not the answer, getting to the root of our problems would be, but it is not an easy thing to do. I have been trying for years.

Comment by Marti Langley on October 31, 2009 at 1:53pm

Welcome, Alana & Coopersmom! So glad we have such a nice group.

Comment by Alanna P. on October 30, 2009 at 5:43pm

Hey, this is a good idea!

Comment by Jackie Cochran on October 30, 2009 at 12:47pm

Dear Coopersmom, I can't get the horse I ride from the pasture because I would be tired by the time I got to the barn, and then exhausted by the time I also groomed, trimmed the hooves and tacked up. But now I feel so fortunate that all I have to deal with is exhaustion and not getting used to a new prosthesis.
One time a stable owner told me how her son got the horses to come to the gate (HUGE pasture) at feeding time. He got a toy horn, and when he gave the horses food he would blow the horn real close to the horse's ear. After around a week the horses would come to the gate when they heard the horn. I am sure that this would work with just a few handfuls of grain or his favorite treat. Then everyone else at the stable will end up being envious of you not having to go out in the mud etc. to get your horse.

Comment by Coopersmom_1958 on October 29, 2009 at 11:06pm

I love being with my horse, grooming, talking to him. Not riding him yet. When I am down, he picks me up. I haven't got to see much of him this month, it's too dark by the time I am finished work and there is no indoor arena now. I have moved him back to the old barn and it takes almost an hour to get there. I wish I lived closer to him. I now can only go on weekends until the daylight is with us longer again next year.
I get depressed when I go and get him from the field and it takes me 30 minutes to do it. I am then too tired to work him and my leg gets very sore, I have a prosthesis. Other things happen health ways and I have to put him back in the field and leave.
I went through some emotional turmoil 2 weeks ago and wanted to get rid of everything and run away. My husband said I am not selling the horse, he has been so good for me, and helps me feel better. Everyone has seen it, even my boss notices too.

Comment by Marti Langley on October 28, 2009 at 1:26pm

Yes, I don't know where I would be if I didn't have a horse!

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