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Video clip: our feelings of conflict and guilt
There are several things in the clip that I would like to talk about. I want to focus on the signals from the horse and the persons without getting into the "right or wrong" aspect of the actual training.
We all have variations on how we would like the horse to behave; some wants a horse that is very passive and waits for the next command with a strict set of rules, others wants a more relaxed relationship. I think both ways works for the horse, the problem occurs when someone tries to mix the two, sometimes acting like a drill sergeant and other times like a cuddling buddy.
I think that the conflict between the two forms arise mostly with people that use what we call Natural Horsemanship, because people often seek out that training because they want a personal relationship with their horses, calling it "partnership", "friendship", or something to that effect, and at the same time the training is based on the idea that the dominant horse is the leader and that we have to act in a alpha/boss/military leader kind of way.
People are told that this is what the have to do in order for the horse to, not only respect them, but also to love them. Since the strict boss way of being around a horse goes against these persons ideas of a mutually good relationship and often against their personalities, it becomes difficult for both the horse and the human to find a balance.
This conflict causes frustration and a feeling of guilt I think. They feel guilty when they are as firm as they are told they have to be. They also feel guilty for being sweet with the horse (like not correcting, hand feeding, cuddling etc.)
This is why I think it's so important to learn about the language of the horse, how the interpret us, and what we need to notice in them.
If we really want a good relationship, we have to start focusing on the other side of the conversation, too, and not just what we are trying to say. I also think that trainers should be more aware of the owners wishes in how they want their horse to be. In the clip the owner seems uncomfortable with the very rigid rules of conduct for the horse, and if I am right about that she will not follow through with this training later, feeling like a bad trainer when she doesn't apply the rules, and like a bad friend to her horse when she does.
I managed to get totally off track here:)
I will add another posting later and write about the signals, I just need to do some other things first ;)
Views: 78
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ann Crago on
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.....Ellen...you are so fantastic....I found a very true barn " sign" that says
" I'm so busy...I forgot if I lost my horse....or found a rope " LOL I love that one....
Looking forward to following this group..... : ) -
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Permalink Reply by Jackie Cochran on
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It is SO HARD for a beginner to go against what the respected pros say. I've been there.
Eventually my horse taught me to listen to HIM first. -
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Lamm on
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:) no comment, LOL
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Permalink Reply by Sarah Siler on
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I agree with Jackie, one of the very first things my mare taught me; "Listen to me, NOT the so called 'pros'." A lot of trainers out there use 'natural horsemanship' as a buzz word to impress potential clients, unfortunately they don't have a clue what is natural, as in the language of a horse, and what is just a human's idea projected onto a horse as natural. With my gelding lately, I've been slowing down and really letting him lead the way with quite a few things, it's amazing how much progress we've made since doing that...not that we have it all down pat, because we don't, but progress is being made, in general he's much less tense (he was carrying a lot of tension in his body, even at liberty out in the pasture) and has decided, just my opinion, that I'm worth getting to know a little better.
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Permalink Reply by Ellen Ofstad on
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Off topic again, but just a little ;)
When I think of the word "natural horsemanship" or natural horse communication I can't help but think that there is absolutely nothing we do with horses that falls under that category. I made a little clip about that, just for fun, and posted it on YouTube... it was with a grin, but at the same time, I DO mean that people need to keep this in mind...
TRUE NATURAL HORSEMANSHIP
How horses really interact...
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I have seen some interesting interaction this week with my horses..... my trainer brought a big mare here, she is a strawberry roan..... my tenant brought two horses here, a gypsy vanner mare and a palomino thoroughbred gelding... when the g.v. and the t.b. got here, Oliver was ever so calm..... actually made friends with them, to the point of nibbling off the g.v's long mane ..... but, this roan horse he charges in the pasture, bears his teeth and makes her squal.... he is super mean to her.... I've never seen him react this way.... ugh...
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I am afraid that this is due to him being an orphan, Jennifer. The mane-eating is a foal-behaviour-thing that I otherwise only have seen in horses that has been taken away from their mom at a too young age. The attack thing is an insecurity thing. Sounds like one is considered a "mom-figure" and the other one "scary"….
I think it's a good thing that he gets to be around other horses, just make sure he doesn't scare the other mare to death (separate them if he doesn't stop chasing her). It might be a little too much for him all at once… -
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